Well, the Bug finally turned a year old! The formula change went well and the spewing subsided. Thank goodness. We were even able to come off of the acid reflux medicine. Now that she has turned a year old, we have been trying to introduce regular milk. My older two had no problem with the switch, but she is proving to be difficult. We tried mixing whole milk and soy per the direction of one doctor, but she would only take it somewhat once it reached room temp. Now we are trying three parts formula to 1 part whole milk. We will gradually increase to just whole milk within the next few weeks.
Trying to transition to a sippy cup is proving to be a trick as well. She has very little desire for one. We are about to try our fourth different style. I'm trying to be tough mom, you know, this is how it's going to be. But when it's 3a.m. and you went to bed at 1a.m. after cramming for a final, you'll do what ever it takes to get some shut eye.
One week before her first birthday, she cut her first tooth. Two weeks later, her second. High fever with both. The first time we took her to the doctor because it reached 103 but they couldn't find anything but the tooth to be causing it. Or "viral". A simple way of saying they have no clue. This time around she got up to 102. Last a day and was treatable with children's Advil. Yesterday though, a week after that fever, I took her in to the doctor for a yellow nose. Result? Nasty ear infection. This is that fun time of year!
I'm getting ready to close out this blog as I am working on a new one for the beginning of the year. I'll post a link when I have it ready. This blog was mainly intended as a place for me to reflect on the challenges of that first year of motherhood, and so I could remember everything I went through. I'm sure there are others out there that may have had the same issue with delivery that I did, I just can't find any documentation out there anywhere. Hopefully my story will help someone else cope with a difficult time.
I wish each and everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Amy
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
8 Months Old and 1 Month in to New Formula
C Bug has been on Gerber Soy now for just over a month and it has helped. However, with her reflux, there really is no fantastic solution. Between the soy and acid reflux medicine, it has improved slightly. As in, no projectile spit up or drenching of anyone's clothes that hold her. But she's still a spewing machine. She can't hold the 21 ounces the pediatrician would like for her to have. Anything over 18 ounces is not staying down. Even with the baby food, she's still spewing. Fun times.
Right now, we are just having to work through it with her. Thankfully, she usually doesn't get upset when she spits up. We've pretty much got the routine down to a science now. A day trip looks like we are going on a week's vacation, but we do what we have to. We always take more than one change of clothes for her, as well as ourselves. Just a few more months and we can get rid of formula all together. I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Honestly, upon talking to other parents, a lot have actually changed their babies over to whole milk before their first birthday, even when pediatrician says not to, due to reflux issues. I haven't ruled that out, but I do want to give things another month to see how things go.
Next week we go to pick up C Bug's DOC Band. More on that in an upcoming post.
Have a great week! Please feel free to share any experiences you have had with reflux in the comments. I'm always open to advice and I hope that through this blog, provide some tips for others going through the same things.
Amy
Right now, we are just having to work through it with her. Thankfully, she usually doesn't get upset when she spits up. We've pretty much got the routine down to a science now. A day trip looks like we are going on a week's vacation, but we do what we have to. We always take more than one change of clothes for her, as well as ourselves. Just a few more months and we can get rid of formula all together. I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Honestly, upon talking to other parents, a lot have actually changed their babies over to whole milk before their first birthday, even when pediatrician says not to, due to reflux issues. I haven't ruled that out, but I do want to give things another month to see how things go.
Next week we go to pick up C Bug's DOC Band. More on that in an upcoming post.
Have a great week! Please feel free to share any experiences you have had with reflux in the comments. I'm always open to advice and I hope that through this blog, provide some tips for others going through the same things.
Amy
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
7 Month Old Baby and The Formula Change
C Bug is now 7 months old and it is so hard to believe. We are still dealing with the troubling acid reflux and now tummy troubles from teething. At her visit last month, her pediatrician noticed two teeth are ready to come through on the bottom, but when they actual will is unpredictable. At first, she wanted to start gradually pulling C off of her acid reflux medicine, until C projectile spit up 3 times while in the office and it had been over an hour since her feeding. We were hoping that she would start calming down some once she started baby food, but no such luck. I can't go anywhere without taking a change of clothes for her and myself. Not to mention all the people that want to hold her and she spews all over. I think I need to have her wear a warning shirt daily that lets people know what they are in for. Then again, some of them deserve it when they won't let her rest. ;-)
This month the doctor told us to go ahead and try soy formula again. If it constipates her (as it did the one other time we tried it), then we can increase some fruits or fruit juice and just see what happens. She has not gained any weight over the last month, but she has not gained either. She went from 40th percentile in weight at six months, to just 20th percentile. She is also taking less and less formula, which is somewhat normal when a baby starts baby food, but she just doesn't like it. Hopefully this soy will be the trick. The recommendation is at least 21 ounces a day. C is only getting around 17-19, counting what is used to make her cereal. She's spitting up at least a fourth of that. What can I do though? I can't force it down her throat. If you try to get her to take more, then it is definitely coming back up.
Today is day one on the soy formula. The first bottle she was taken aback by, obviously for the difference in taste. I'm not sure how much she will take the next few days though, as her little tummy is all out of whack. I'm talking diapers that don't get changed....she goes straight to the bath tub in the diaper...and the clothes. Yucky bad. I feel so bad for her too. Sometimes, like last night, she just cries because her tummy hurts. At least that's what I am assuming. She cried while eating supper last night and I kept feeding her because she wanted to eat. Trust me, when she's done, she's done. And you know it. Finally she got real quiet and oh, the sound and stench. Then she was able to rest. My poor little C Bug.
As for me, I'm as normal as I'm going to be I believe since having surgery. All moms will agree, there is no real "normal" after you have a child, no matter how the delivery went. My bladder still seems to be in pregnancy mode (peanut sized) and my IBS is about two notches higher on the aggravation scale. But my incision has healed really good and I no longer feel any tender spots. I've been having some issues with my kidneys, like I am constantly getting an infection, but I grew up with kidney infections so that's not too out of the ordinary. The best part about having the big H surgery? NO MORE PMS!!! Since I have my ovaries, I was not thrown into immediate menopause, but from all the research I have done, that may happen in the next two years or so. I'm already a lot more hot natured (usually very COLD natured) and my mood swings are unpredictable, but, C Bug has been waking up at night again so I'm not fully rested all the time. What mom is though?
I'll post again in a week or two the updates on how she is doing on the soy formula. Crossing our fingers and saying prayers that this will truly help.
Take Care,
Amy
This month the doctor told us to go ahead and try soy formula again. If it constipates her (as it did the one other time we tried it), then we can increase some fruits or fruit juice and just see what happens. She has not gained any weight over the last month, but she has not gained either. She went from 40th percentile in weight at six months, to just 20th percentile. She is also taking less and less formula, which is somewhat normal when a baby starts baby food, but she just doesn't like it. Hopefully this soy will be the trick. The recommendation is at least 21 ounces a day. C is only getting around 17-19, counting what is used to make her cereal. She's spitting up at least a fourth of that. What can I do though? I can't force it down her throat. If you try to get her to take more, then it is definitely coming back up.
Today is day one on the soy formula. The first bottle she was taken aback by, obviously for the difference in taste. I'm not sure how much she will take the next few days though, as her little tummy is all out of whack. I'm talking diapers that don't get changed....she goes straight to the bath tub in the diaper...and the clothes. Yucky bad. I feel so bad for her too. Sometimes, like last night, she just cries because her tummy hurts. At least that's what I am assuming. She cried while eating supper last night and I kept feeding her because she wanted to eat. Trust me, when she's done, she's done. And you know it. Finally she got real quiet and oh, the sound and stench. Then she was able to rest. My poor little C Bug.
As for me, I'm as normal as I'm going to be I believe since having surgery. All moms will agree, there is no real "normal" after you have a child, no matter how the delivery went. My bladder still seems to be in pregnancy mode (peanut sized) and my IBS is about two notches higher on the aggravation scale. But my incision has healed really good and I no longer feel any tender spots. I've been having some issues with my kidneys, like I am constantly getting an infection, but I grew up with kidney infections so that's not too out of the ordinary. The best part about having the big H surgery? NO MORE PMS!!! Since I have my ovaries, I was not thrown into immediate menopause, but from all the research I have done, that may happen in the next two years or so. I'm already a lot more hot natured (usually very COLD natured) and my mood swings are unpredictable, but, C Bug has been waking up at night again so I'm not fully rested all the time. What mom is though?
I'll post again in a week or two the updates on how she is doing on the soy formula. Crossing our fingers and saying prayers that this will truly help.
Take Care,
Amy
Friday, April 25, 2014
Formula or Breast Feed? The pressure is on.
When my oldest daughter was born, I knew before hand that I would have to formula feed. I found a breast lump at around 7 months that ended up being a benign cyst that would need to be removed. Surgery was scheduled for a week after her delivery. I would have to pump and discard until all the blood was out of the milk, and with stitches the doctor highly advised against doing that. By God's healing hand, the lump went away and I did not have to have the surgery after all. As my milk depleted, the lump shrank. I would have had plenty to nurse her with. I was heartbroken that I didn't get to nurse, but thankful I was blessed at the same time.
Carson (yes, this can be a girl's name for those wondering) was my easy pregnancy and easy feeding baby. We started and finished with the same formula, she rarely spit up, and even when she was sick she was always all smiles.
Jesse was 5 weeks early and the doctors and nurses were dead set that I was going to breast feed. It was supposed to be the very best for him, especially being premature. My body disagreed. Possibly because I was being told again what I should/could do. I had so many nurses, doctors and lactation's working with me and fondling me in ways I wish I could forget. Unfortunately moments like those are burned into your memory forever. I had a bottle attached to one side of me with a tube coming out that went around my neck and attached to my breast that was supposed to help him latch on. Supposedly the milk in the tube with help him latch and get my milk to flow. Didn't work. I pumped non stop, even after I went home. I would pump and pump, for up to an hour, and only have about an ounce of formula. I tried for two months. It was exhausting. I even used one of those ridiculous plastic nipple covers over mine to help him latch. I thought it was going to remove my nipple from my body. White flag please.
Then, we had to switch his formula several times. He had GERD, or in English, acid reflux. We started with the preemie formula, then switched to regular Enfamil. Then to Neutragamin and a couple others the doctors wanted us to try. He was cranky, gassy, and projectile vomiting with all of them. My sister came up with what ended up being our solution. The simplest of solutions. Here she was, 10 years younger than me and no kids of her own, and she found the solution. I'm forever in her debt. She called me one day and started reading out the descriptions of formulas. She told me she really thought this was what we needed. Similac Soy. Wonderful, blessed, half the price of the other mess, SOY. We still ended up having to add cereal to his bottles rather early on (at our pediatrician's advise) to help weight it down so the projectile would stop. However, it worked.
Then comes little Chloe. I really wanted to breast feed and had hoped this time would be it. No pressure from doctor's or nurses either way. Minutes after she was born, she latched right on. Finally! The joy did not last long though. After being rushed to emergency surgery, I did not get to see her again for a little over 12 hours. By this time, she was fed on demand by bottle and did not want to change. I tried and tried what I was able to in the hospital, but due to my situation and recovery, I did not get to spend as much time with her that first week as I did my other two. I was at least able to get her that wonderful "liquid gold" colostrum while in the hospital, and the first day or two at home. I pumped when I could but nothing came out. I tried to nurse her at every feeding before giving in to the bottle. Take hot showers trying to get it to flow.
Nada.
I went for a follow up with my OB at 2 weeks and she told me to stop worrying about it. She told me my body had been through more than most women would see at one time and that stressing over nursing was not worth it. She made me feel so much better discussing everything with me. I wasn't a bad mom for giving up; I needed to give up. My body needed to heal and the stress and pressure of conforming to what some doctors and nurses thought I should do was not what was best for me. The best thing for me was to heal and bond with my newborn without becoming frustrated.
What I have learned from three babies and feeding:
If you have no desire to breast feed, DON'T. DO NOT let anyone make you feel like you have to try it. DO NOT let anyone make you feel like you are not doing right by your child or that you are a bad mom. MAKE IT KNOWN as soon as you check in to deliver that you DO NOT want to breast feed. Nip it in the bud. Seriously. It's your body, your decision. While breast feeding can be very rewarding, it can be very frustrating. I have friends with multiple children that never had formula a day in their life. Nursing came natural to them. For me it did not and I am okay with that.
Embrace your decision. Whether you are a first time mom or a 5th time mom, you ultimately know what is best. Trust those gut instincts.
Carson (yes, this can be a girl's name for those wondering) was my easy pregnancy and easy feeding baby. We started and finished with the same formula, she rarely spit up, and even when she was sick she was always all smiles.
Jesse was 5 weeks early and the doctors and nurses were dead set that I was going to breast feed. It was supposed to be the very best for him, especially being premature. My body disagreed. Possibly because I was being told again what I should/could do. I had so many nurses, doctors and lactation's working with me and fondling me in ways I wish I could forget. Unfortunately moments like those are burned into your memory forever. I had a bottle attached to one side of me with a tube coming out that went around my neck and attached to my breast that was supposed to help him latch on. Supposedly the milk in the tube with help him latch and get my milk to flow. Didn't work. I pumped non stop, even after I went home. I would pump and pump, for up to an hour, and only have about an ounce of formula. I tried for two months. It was exhausting. I even used one of those ridiculous plastic nipple covers over mine to help him latch. I thought it was going to remove my nipple from my body. White flag please.
Then, we had to switch his formula several times. He had GERD, or in English, acid reflux. We started with the preemie formula, then switched to regular Enfamil. Then to Neutragamin and a couple others the doctors wanted us to try. He was cranky, gassy, and projectile vomiting with all of them. My sister came up with what ended up being our solution. The simplest of solutions. Here she was, 10 years younger than me and no kids of her own, and she found the solution. I'm forever in her debt. She called me one day and started reading out the descriptions of formulas. She told me she really thought this was what we needed. Similac Soy. Wonderful, blessed, half the price of the other mess, SOY. We still ended up having to add cereal to his bottles rather early on (at our pediatrician's advise) to help weight it down so the projectile would stop. However, it worked.
Then comes little Chloe. I really wanted to breast feed and had hoped this time would be it. No pressure from doctor's or nurses either way. Minutes after she was born, she latched right on. Finally! The joy did not last long though. After being rushed to emergency surgery, I did not get to see her again for a little over 12 hours. By this time, she was fed on demand by bottle and did not want to change. I tried and tried what I was able to in the hospital, but due to my situation and recovery, I did not get to spend as much time with her that first week as I did my other two. I was at least able to get her that wonderful "liquid gold" colostrum while in the hospital, and the first day or two at home. I pumped when I could but nothing came out. I tried to nurse her at every feeding before giving in to the bottle. Take hot showers trying to get it to flow.
Nada.
I went for a follow up with my OB at 2 weeks and she told me to stop worrying about it. She told me my body had been through more than most women would see at one time and that stressing over nursing was not worth it. She made me feel so much better discussing everything with me. I wasn't a bad mom for giving up; I needed to give up. My body needed to heal and the stress and pressure of conforming to what some doctors and nurses thought I should do was not what was best for me. The best thing for me was to heal and bond with my newborn without becoming frustrated.
What I have learned from three babies and feeding:
- Every baby is different, even your own.
- Start simple.
- Don't let anyone make you feel inadequate in your feeding decision. Do what is best for you and your baby. Refer to #1.
- Trust your own instincts.
- Make your decision and do not second guess yourself.
If you have no desire to breast feed, DON'T. DO NOT let anyone make you feel like you have to try it. DO NOT let anyone make you feel like you are not doing right by your child or that you are a bad mom. MAKE IT KNOWN as soon as you check in to deliver that you DO NOT want to breast feed. Nip it in the bud. Seriously. It's your body, your decision. While breast feeding can be very rewarding, it can be very frustrating. I have friends with multiple children that never had formula a day in their life. Nursing came natural to them. For me it did not and I am okay with that.
Embrace your decision. Whether you are a first time mom or a 5th time mom, you ultimately know what is best. Trust those gut instincts.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
5 Months Post Delivery and Surgery
Once home from the hospital, I had to find my groove to deal with the pain and discomfort, along with being a mother and wife. I slept on the couch for another 3 months. I found that trying to sit up or roll over to get out of the bed was very painful and pulled muscles I didn't know existed. By sleeping on the couch, I could prop on one side, then grab the back couch cushions to hoist myself up. Still much better than the hospital bed was. It didn't matter how many buttons I pressed trying to maneuver that bed to get me out of it, nothing felt good at all.
For the graphic part: it was exactly one week from giving birth and having the surgery before I could use the bathroom. I thought I was dying all over again. Sharp, cutting gas pains would come and go as I tried to go. This lasted for about 2 weeks. But once the gas pain started releasing (and that would be quite comical), then I started feeling pain from the surgery. It was bearable, but uncomfortable. Like intense PMS pain. Ibuprofen took care of it and I never had to take any of the hard pain medicine thankfully. I remember discussing my surgery with a family member that had already been through the hysterectomy. I told her it felt like my insides had been rearranged. Apparently this was exactly the case, and my OB confirmed in a future visit. A lot of other organs are in the way of your lady parts, and have to be pulled out to get to them, then stuffed back in. Call me the Thanksgiving turkey! I was also told that some women would feel better at around 8 weeks, it could be 12 weeks to 6 months. Now I can say I believe them.
Gradually I started feeling more myself. At 3 months Bug started sleeping through the night and that helped even more. I couldn't believe how hard it was in the beginning, getting up and down for feedings, feeding the other 2 kiddos, and trying to take care of myself. The OB prepared me for a longer than normal healing process due to the fact that I was starting all over with a baby again too.
Every day that I felt better, I pushed myself just a little farther. An extra load of laundry. Run the vacuum (not the best idea), sweep, clean up something. At 4 months I helped my husband move some light furniture. Something I would have done on my own before. The next day, I FELT IT. I could not believe that I could still feel so sore. My incision healed nicely, but there was tenderness and feeling like I had pulled something. I had to, and still have to, learn my limits.
It's hard to believe that it has been 5 months already. I feel closer to normal than I have in a long time now, but I still have days that I know I have over done myself. I was supposed to go back to work at 8 weeks post, but the company I work for did a layoff. While things have been tight financially, God blessed me at the same time. The extra time has done wonders for my recovery physically and emotionally. I am enjoying every minute of being a new mom again, and being able to do more with my 9 and 6 year old. I haven't missed the first school function, during or after school hours. There have been times I thought I was going to go insane of course, what mom doesn't feel that way? I've been spring cleaning for over a month, going room to room cleaning out and organizing. Something I've never found the time to do. I'm taking a nap with the Bug most days, even if it's just for a hour, while it's just she and I at home. I'm going to Bible studies every other week and taking the kids back to church. I've also made the time to visit with friends and family more.
Life is precious, we all know that. But if you have ever had that life dangle, yours or a loved one's, then you know how true that statement is. I feel like I have been through Hell in a canoe with a broken paddle, but I made it out to the other side. Sometimes I believe we have to go through these hard and challenging times to become stronger people, and grow our relationship with God. I know that has been the case with me.
Things are really getting fun with this silly little girl. New experiences every day. I hope to blog more about these experiences and bring you the nitty gritty, sometimes not pretty, truth to what I see.
So go fix a cup of coffee and come back and see me soon.
Amy
For the graphic part: it was exactly one week from giving birth and having the surgery before I could use the bathroom. I thought I was dying all over again. Sharp, cutting gas pains would come and go as I tried to go. This lasted for about 2 weeks. But once the gas pain started releasing (and that would be quite comical), then I started feeling pain from the surgery. It was bearable, but uncomfortable. Like intense PMS pain. Ibuprofen took care of it and I never had to take any of the hard pain medicine thankfully. I remember discussing my surgery with a family member that had already been through the hysterectomy. I told her it felt like my insides had been rearranged. Apparently this was exactly the case, and my OB confirmed in a future visit. A lot of other organs are in the way of your lady parts, and have to be pulled out to get to them, then stuffed back in. Call me the Thanksgiving turkey! I was also told that some women would feel better at around 8 weeks, it could be 12 weeks to 6 months. Now I can say I believe them.
Gradually I started feeling more myself. At 3 months Bug started sleeping through the night and that helped even more. I couldn't believe how hard it was in the beginning, getting up and down for feedings, feeding the other 2 kiddos, and trying to take care of myself. The OB prepared me for a longer than normal healing process due to the fact that I was starting all over with a baby again too.
Every day that I felt better, I pushed myself just a little farther. An extra load of laundry. Run the vacuum (not the best idea), sweep, clean up something. At 4 months I helped my husband move some light furniture. Something I would have done on my own before. The next day, I FELT IT. I could not believe that I could still feel so sore. My incision healed nicely, but there was tenderness and feeling like I had pulled something. I had to, and still have to, learn my limits.
It's hard to believe that it has been 5 months already. I feel closer to normal than I have in a long time now, but I still have days that I know I have over done myself. I was supposed to go back to work at 8 weeks post, but the company I work for did a layoff. While things have been tight financially, God blessed me at the same time. The extra time has done wonders for my recovery physically and emotionally. I am enjoying every minute of being a new mom again, and being able to do more with my 9 and 6 year old. I haven't missed the first school function, during or after school hours. There have been times I thought I was going to go insane of course, what mom doesn't feel that way? I've been spring cleaning for over a month, going room to room cleaning out and organizing. Something I've never found the time to do. I'm taking a nap with the Bug most days, even if it's just for a hour, while it's just she and I at home. I'm going to Bible studies every other week and taking the kids back to church. I've also made the time to visit with friends and family more.
Life is precious, we all know that. But if you have ever had that life dangle, yours or a loved one's, then you know how true that statement is. I feel like I have been through Hell in a canoe with a broken paddle, but I made it out to the other side. Sometimes I believe we have to go through these hard and challenging times to become stronger people, and grow our relationship with God. I know that has been the case with me.
Things are really getting fun with this silly little girl. New experiences every day. I hope to blog more about these experiences and bring you the nitty gritty, sometimes not pretty, truth to what I see.
So go fix a cup of coffee and come back and see me soon.
Amy
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Recovering From The Unexpected Hysterectomy After Childbirth
I finally made it to my room at close to 10pm Monday night. I still couldn't open my eyes, for some reason they were swollen shut. But I knew my husband and my mom were still there. I remember asking them, "Did I give you guys a scare?" I got a very exasperated "YES" from both of them. It was probably a good thing I couldn't see their faces. I vaguely remember the doctor stopping by and confirming it was a hysterectomy. I was in a complete fog and did not fully understand what had happened yet. I know I called one of my co-workers and I think she was at a ball game and couldn't hear me good. I ended up texting her about the hysterectomy. I wasn't very subtle about it, and I blame it on the medicine.
Really all I remember about that night is itching all over and my throat was dry and sore. I was given Benadryl and pain medicine and had an ice pack across my abdomen. Oh, and I got another serving of red Jello. I was still starving!!
The next morning, all the events began to come to light. It felt like they were talking about someone else instead of what had happened to me. None of it felt real.
My doctor had tried to do the DNC for over an hour. The placenta was breaking into pieces and was stuck to the uterine wall. I was loosing way to much blood. Finally, she went to my husband in the waiting room and explained to him what was going on. I needed a blood transfusion immediately, and a hysterectomy. Otherwise, I was going to bleed to death right there on the table. They actually almost lost me. I had two transfusions during the surgery and had to be incubated (I think that's the right term for it!). That was why my throat was sore.
I really don't know when they brought little C-Bug in to the room. I honestly was still so out of it and felt like I was having an out of body experience. This couldn't have happened to me. I bounce back too quick and this wasn't going to hold me down. Ha. I do remember trying to nurse C every time she was ready to eat. Unfortunately because she was bottle fed on demand the first 24 hours, she didn't have the patience to nurse. But I tried and tried as much as she would. At least she was able to get the colostrum, or as the doctors like to call it: liquid gold.
Later that day, they removed my catheter and got me up on the side of the bed to try and go to the bathroom. No problem. Just get me to my feet and I'll do the rest.
I was in for a very rude awakening.
For some, this may be an over share, but I'm documenting this for myself and I'm trying to be brutally honest here. No sugar coating. When I tried to stand up, I couldn't. At least not without support from a nurse on each side. As soon as I stood, my bladder failed me. Yes, I peed all over the floor and had no control over it. I. Was. Pissed. Literally and figuratively speaking. Why didn't I have control over my bladder and why couldn't I walk on my own? I'm She-Ra, hear me roar!! I don't need help.
Humbling.
As aggravating as it was, it was also humbling. Turns out I wasn't the perfect, strong, bounce right back mama I thought I was. And coughing? Oh my goodness. I had to brace myself against a wall, hold my belly, and gently work out the cough. I was obviously going to pee on myself when I did, but it hurt like hell too. But honestly, that wasn't the worst part of it all. The gas pain was.
I begged for gas ex. It felt like I had a helium balloon inside of me and I seriously begged the nurses to just pop me and let the gas out. It was horrible. When asked what my pain was on a scale of 1-10 I would say anywhere from 11 to 13. So they kept me on pain meds, even though I told them the pain was strictly from the gas. I couldn't even feel where they had cut me open. No pain from the birth either (she was only 4 pounds, 13 1/2 ounces). Pain meds, anti gas, iron, stool softener. Around the clock. Nothing was helping.
Apparently when you are cut open and closed up, it's kind of like trying to get all the air out of a zip lock bag when you seal it: virtually impossible. My body needed to pass the gas out to get relief, and it wasn't happening Thursday, just when I was sure they would let me go home, the doctor told me I couldn't because I hadn't passed gas. Seriously? To be quite blunt, I needed to shatter the windows and it just wasn't happening. No bowel movement either. It ended up being a good thing I didn't go home that day because it was my worst day.
The pain got so bad that I had to have my husband hit the call button because I couldn't even reach for it. I could hardly breathe I was crying, screaming, and stiff as a board when they tried to move me. Everything hurt to the touch. Two very patient, very understanding nurses came in with the doctor. They gave me (what would be my second) enema in hopes of getting something moving. Now, there was a funny in there. Not so much at the time, but later my husband and I couldn't help but laugh. So here I am, in all my glory having both nurses hoist me in to the bathroom. They are going to do the enema there. So the one nurse puts everything in one of those lovely puke buckets, and sets it on the shelf above the commode. The blasted thing fell off the shelf and hit me in the head. Really? Insult to injury much?? They took me back to the bed, give me the stupid, non working, violating all things that could be violated, and proceed to give me some really, really potent pain killer through my iv. Next thing I know they toss me in the shower with the hottest water possible trying to get me to relax and have dear hubby babysit me. Poor thing, he didn't know what to do with me. I didn't know what to do with me. I just prayed. I thanked God for giving me a second chance at life and begged for his help. Help me through this. Help me understand why it was happening to me. At that moment I told God I was thankful to be alive, that I didn't want to die yet, that I wasn't ready. I also told him the pain was so bad that even though I didn't want to die, I did want to. It was an awful feeling, physically and emotionally.
I took several more really hot showers that day and night, trying to relax my body. I walked the whole hospital, and that wasn't easy. Walking was supposed to help get the gas moving, and in the end, it's exactly what worked. Believe me, I tried every suggestion that came my way. One nurse, my "Grey's Anatomy" nurse as I like to call her, (her uniform had it on the pocket tag) told me to get on all fours and put my butt up in the air. Gas travels up so it should work. Bless her, she was the only one of my nurses that actually wasn't a mama yet and had never been through what I was going through. Did I try it? Absolutely. The only thing it released was some of my husband's tension. He got out of the shower and walked in to the room seeing me on all fours on the bed and burst into laughter. I'm sure I was a sight.
Finally by Friday I was fit to be tied. I wanted to go home. You know how they say if there is a set of twin babies and one is sick, put the other with her in the same bed and watch them start getting better? That's the way I felt about going home. My babies at home needed me and I needed them. I needed to be able to bond with C-Bug too. It was so hard in the hospital with all the iv's and cords hooked up to me. I felt so restricted. My doctor approved for me to go home, but she was more than willing to have me stay another night. She also told me she was on call all weekend so if anything got as bad as the day before, to come right back to her. That made me feel so much better.
Going over the discharge information, I gained some interesting knowledge. Actually I already knew it but in all my distress it never crossed my mind. Pain medicine will actually constipate you. Why had I been taking it around the clock when it wasn't doing any good anyway??
The week had been full of doctors, nurses, and nursing students. Those students learned a lot from my case I'm sure. By that day though, my sarcasm was sneaking back in and I had fun giving them a hard time. I knew how to work have that machinery better than they did as long as I had been there!! I finally told my doctor that the smart ass in me was coming back and I was sick of crying, it's time to go! I love that doctor, she just laughed with me.
Homeward bound to surprise the other two when they get out of school!
More on the recovery in posts to follow.
Amy
Really all I remember about that night is itching all over and my throat was dry and sore. I was given Benadryl and pain medicine and had an ice pack across my abdomen. Oh, and I got another serving of red Jello. I was still starving!!
The next morning, all the events began to come to light. It felt like they were talking about someone else instead of what had happened to me. None of it felt real.
My doctor had tried to do the DNC for over an hour. The placenta was breaking into pieces and was stuck to the uterine wall. I was loosing way to much blood. Finally, she went to my husband in the waiting room and explained to him what was going on. I needed a blood transfusion immediately, and a hysterectomy. Otherwise, I was going to bleed to death right there on the table. They actually almost lost me. I had two transfusions during the surgery and had to be incubated (I think that's the right term for it!). That was why my throat was sore.
I really don't know when they brought little C-Bug in to the room. I honestly was still so out of it and felt like I was having an out of body experience. This couldn't have happened to me. I bounce back too quick and this wasn't going to hold me down. Ha. I do remember trying to nurse C every time she was ready to eat. Unfortunately because she was bottle fed on demand the first 24 hours, she didn't have the patience to nurse. But I tried and tried as much as she would. At least she was able to get the colostrum, or as the doctors like to call it: liquid gold.
Later that day, they removed my catheter and got me up on the side of the bed to try and go to the bathroom. No problem. Just get me to my feet and I'll do the rest.
I was in for a very rude awakening.
For some, this may be an over share, but I'm documenting this for myself and I'm trying to be brutally honest here. No sugar coating. When I tried to stand up, I couldn't. At least not without support from a nurse on each side. As soon as I stood, my bladder failed me. Yes, I peed all over the floor and had no control over it. I. Was. Pissed. Literally and figuratively speaking. Why didn't I have control over my bladder and why couldn't I walk on my own? I'm She-Ra, hear me roar!! I don't need help.
Humbling.
As aggravating as it was, it was also humbling. Turns out I wasn't the perfect, strong, bounce right back mama I thought I was. And coughing? Oh my goodness. I had to brace myself against a wall, hold my belly, and gently work out the cough. I was obviously going to pee on myself when I did, but it hurt like hell too. But honestly, that wasn't the worst part of it all. The gas pain was.
I begged for gas ex. It felt like I had a helium balloon inside of me and I seriously begged the nurses to just pop me and let the gas out. It was horrible. When asked what my pain was on a scale of 1-10 I would say anywhere from 11 to 13. So they kept me on pain meds, even though I told them the pain was strictly from the gas. I couldn't even feel where they had cut me open. No pain from the birth either (she was only 4 pounds, 13 1/2 ounces). Pain meds, anti gas, iron, stool softener. Around the clock. Nothing was helping.
Apparently when you are cut open and closed up, it's kind of like trying to get all the air out of a zip lock bag when you seal it: virtually impossible. My body needed to pass the gas out to get relief, and it wasn't happening Thursday, just when I was sure they would let me go home, the doctor told me I couldn't because I hadn't passed gas. Seriously? To be quite blunt, I needed to shatter the windows and it just wasn't happening. No bowel movement either. It ended up being a good thing I didn't go home that day because it was my worst day.
The pain got so bad that I had to have my husband hit the call button because I couldn't even reach for it. I could hardly breathe I was crying, screaming, and stiff as a board when they tried to move me. Everything hurt to the touch. Two very patient, very understanding nurses came in with the doctor. They gave me (what would be my second) enema in hopes of getting something moving. Now, there was a funny in there. Not so much at the time, but later my husband and I couldn't help but laugh. So here I am, in all my glory having both nurses hoist me in to the bathroom. They are going to do the enema there. So the one nurse puts everything in one of those lovely puke buckets, and sets it on the shelf above the commode. The blasted thing fell off the shelf and hit me in the head. Really? Insult to injury much?? They took me back to the bed, give me the stupid, non working, violating all things that could be violated, and proceed to give me some really, really potent pain killer through my iv. Next thing I know they toss me in the shower with the hottest water possible trying to get me to relax and have dear hubby babysit me. Poor thing, he didn't know what to do with me. I didn't know what to do with me. I just prayed. I thanked God for giving me a second chance at life and begged for his help. Help me through this. Help me understand why it was happening to me. At that moment I told God I was thankful to be alive, that I didn't want to die yet, that I wasn't ready. I also told him the pain was so bad that even though I didn't want to die, I did want to. It was an awful feeling, physically and emotionally.
I took several more really hot showers that day and night, trying to relax my body. I walked the whole hospital, and that wasn't easy. Walking was supposed to help get the gas moving, and in the end, it's exactly what worked. Believe me, I tried every suggestion that came my way. One nurse, my "Grey's Anatomy" nurse as I like to call her, (her uniform had it on the pocket tag) told me to get on all fours and put my butt up in the air. Gas travels up so it should work. Bless her, she was the only one of my nurses that actually wasn't a mama yet and had never been through what I was going through. Did I try it? Absolutely. The only thing it released was some of my husband's tension. He got out of the shower and walked in to the room seeing me on all fours on the bed and burst into laughter. I'm sure I was a sight.
Finally by Friday I was fit to be tied. I wanted to go home. You know how they say if there is a set of twin babies and one is sick, put the other with her in the same bed and watch them start getting better? That's the way I felt about going home. My babies at home needed me and I needed them. I needed to be able to bond with C-Bug too. It was so hard in the hospital with all the iv's and cords hooked up to me. I felt so restricted. My doctor approved for me to go home, but she was more than willing to have me stay another night. She also told me she was on call all weekend so if anything got as bad as the day before, to come right back to her. That made me feel so much better.
Going over the discharge information, I gained some interesting knowledge. Actually I already knew it but in all my distress it never crossed my mind. Pain medicine will actually constipate you. Why had I been taking it around the clock when it wasn't doing any good anyway??
The week had been full of doctors, nurses, and nursing students. Those students learned a lot from my case I'm sure. By that day though, my sarcasm was sneaking back in and I had fun giving them a hard time. I knew how to work have that machinery better than they did as long as I had been there!! I finally told my doctor that the smart ass in me was coming back and I was sick of crying, it's time to go! I love that doctor, she just laughed with me.
Homeward bound to surprise the other two when they get out of school!
More on the recovery in posts to follow.
Amy
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
37 Weeks: The Delivery and The Surgery
This is going to be a long post, but it's something I'm doing for myself as well. I want to keep all the details of what took place during our delivery. It was life changing. I have a lot to be thankful for and I do not ever want to forget what happened. I am hoping this may help someone else in the future as well.
It was 12:45am on Monday morning, November 18th. I got up to use the bathroom, laid back down, and felt the urge to go again. By the time I got down the hall, the pad I was wearing (as I had been wearing them for a few days anticipating a water leak) was soaked. C-Bug (my nickname for her), had been playing havoc on my bladder for a few days. A week earlier I was concerned my water was leaking and she was just dancing on the bladder making me pee myself. Fun times.
I went back to my resting spot on the couch and continued to feel the wetness over the course of the following hour. I went up and down the hall to use the bathroom. I walked back and forth through the kitchen trying to figure out if I was truly leaking amniotic fluid or not. Eventually I walked outside and started walking on the porch.
Let me back up a minute here. Earlier in the evening I was so stressed from the stomach flu (see my earlier post), the tests I would go through the upcoming week, and the cheer competition my 8 year old daughter would be in that next weekend. I am also a coach for her cheer squad and have been teaching the competition dance (yes, at 9 months pregnant; I'm an over achiever.) I had been so worried about teaching the girls the remaining part of the dance, making sure they have everything they need, etc, that I was making myself sick. I just really wanted to make it through the competition. I finally realized how silly I was being. I prayed. I asked God to forgive me and finally let it go into his hands. I said, God, if it's your will I know I'll go tonight. I can't worry about cheer leading any longer, it will all work out. May your will be done in my life Lord, take these worries away. I immediately felt better.
Back to walking the porch. I stopped and looked up at the night sky. FULL MOON. All I could do was burst into laughter. Now the question was, do I wake up my husband? How long should I wait. No contractions yet, no bloody show. Was I entering labor?
I laid back down about 2 am, and my husband was waking up. I told him what was going on but I wasn't sure if I was in labor or not. Then, contractions started. Over the next hour I had 5 contractions. The rule was if you have 6 in an hour, call the doctor. So I told my husband to call his dad to come sit with our other two children and we should just go and be checked out. On the way to the hospital, I had two more contractions fairly close. We were fairly sure this was it.
After being checked in and let them examine me, it was confirmed my water had broken. It was 3:35 am. However, the contractions stopped. So we waited, with the option of starting Pitocin whenever I was ready to. I really did not want to be induced with Pitocin, it makes the contractions so painful. Not to mention, I was finally getting my appetite back from having the stomach flu and I was starving. Food was not an option. At some point I did talk them in to letting me have some jello, which was honestly just enough to piss me off. :-) If I would have known how long it was going to be I would have stayed home and had a good meal!!
Phone calls were made but we told everyone not to rush. It looked like this one was not going to be any quicker than the other two deliveries were. (13 hours with my first born, 11 with my second.) It was between 8-9am that my contractions started back. I was approaching 9 hours since my water broke so they really wanted to start the Pitocin. Grudgingly I let them, and requested my epidural within a half hour after that. Thank the Lord the doctor was in the hospital already and I didn't have to wait. I had been forewarned that if he wasn't there, it could be an hour or more.
The nurses complimented me on how I breathed through the contractions, encouraged me that I was doing a good job. The Pitocin was on the slowest drip possible so it was mainly all me with the contractions. By the time the doctor was in there, I was about to break the bed frame. They told me to sit up and lean over the rolling hospital table so they could get the epidural started. It took a few minutes but I finally managed and with the support of my husband, I stayed as still as a statue, even during contractions. My husband, nor the doctor, could believe I could manage to be so still while injecting me with numbing medicine and then the (apparently huge-although I've never seen it) epidural needle. Mind over matter.
Within just a few minutes I was pain free and watching the monitor to see when I was having contractions. They checked my cervix and I was at a 4. A short time later I was checked again and jumped from a 4 to a 6 while they were checking me. In no time I was at an 8. But, just like my other two babies, stayed that way for a while.
Her heart rate would drop some when I had a contraction so they decided to pump me full of fluid by iv and through my cervix. My husband and I talked about how she was doing the exact same thing as our first born. Not enough fluid, umbilical cord getting pinched somehow during contractions. It was identical. We were watched carefully for several hours.
My mom arrived, his mom came over on her lunch break, and his dad was there. Although his dad bolted for the waiting room when my contractions really started and I was in pain (prior to the epidural). About 3pm my mom called his mom to come back over, we were getting close. As I'm laying there listening to the moms and my husband talk, I'm watching her heart rate and contractions on the monitor. For her heart rate, it needed to stay in the blue area of the monitor. There was a pink line above and below showing if it got too high or too low. Finally, the entire heart monitor turned pink. I told the parents to get ready, the nurses and doctors were on their way. (The nurses watched the monitor from their station outside). Sure enough, here comes the whole team.
The bed was dropped and I was checked. The moms were encouraged to head for the door, as my husband and I had always agreed it was just to be the two of us during delivery. His mom begged to stay. At that point I didn't care if the Pope and President was there, it was time for her to come out. But by our wishes it was just my husband and I. It's bad enough for him to see me go through what I did, and I really didn't want anyone else to witness it. I also didn't know how aggressive I would get and the last thing I would want is to hurt some one's feelings.
I was just at a 9, and like my first born, I pushed to get to a 10. I managed to only say one cuss word during the whole ordeal. 50 minutes of pushing later, my teeny tiny, 4 pounds 13.6 ounce baby girl finally made her appearance. She was so stubborn! The nurses said she was in need of a spanking when she got here. She kept going back further with every push. But she made it and she was beautiful. Born at 4:29pm.
My doctor let me hold her while she worked on removing the afterbirth. I asked her if everything was okay and she smiled and assured me it was okay. She said she would just give it a little time. A half hour later though, she told me we would need to do a DNC to remove it as the placenta was just breaking apart.
The family was let in, along with my other two babies (who we sent on to school that day and were anxiously awaiting her arrival). I was shaking so badly everyone asked if I was cold. Strangely, I didn't feel cold but I shook like it. My nurse, (who was freaking awesome by the way) told us it was called Labor Shakes. As soon as the placenta was out it should stop. I finally had to ask one nurse to take my baby because I was terrified I was going to hurt her as bad as I was shaking. She took her and had my oldest daughter participate in bathing her for the first time. She was so patient with my oldest, explaining everything to her and answering all her questions.
During this time, the doctor had me sign my second form for a possible blood transfusion. They had me sign one with my original paperwork when I first got there, but now I had to sign one again, along with the forms for the DNC. It was also explained to me that in worse case scenario, I would have to have a hysterectomy. I had to sign forms for that as well. I'd love to see those papers now and compare my signature to my first forms. I was shaking so bad I could hardly hold the ink pen.
I asked my doctor, if it is a DNC, how long will it take. About a half hour.
If you have to do a hysterectomy, how? Will I be cut? How long will the surgery last?
My doctor, (a female thankfully and the best one), smiled and assured me if it was surgery, it would be a bikini cut and would take about an hour. But she really didn't think she would have to do a hysterectomy and was going to see if the surgeon would let me stay awake with the epidural.
Something just didn't set right with me. Call it my subconscious. I told everyone I loved them and wanted out of the room away from my kids fast. I didn't want them to see me as I started to fall apart. I cried the entire ride to the OR and kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to watch the ceiling lights go by above me. I was beginning to feel like I was in one of the episodes of the dramas on tv. Once in the OR, the surgeon told me that he felt more comfortable if he put me under. That way if things went the wrong direction, they wouldn't have to start over.
In the OR, they transferred me to the operating table. I have to say that was one of the strangest and scariest feelings I have ever experienced. I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. They put the mask on me to put me under and started fighting it off. I felt like I was being smothered. Then I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room some time later. I tried opening my eyes but they didn't want to cooperate. I remember even using my hands to hold my eyes open. I asked the nurse if I had a hysterectomy but she seemed hesitant to answer, so I asked her what time it was. It had been over three hours so I knew what the answer was.
Hysterectomy, at 36. What I would later find to be called Peripartum Hysterectomy.
The information I received over the next 24 hours would be shocking and overwhelming. I'll explain more in my next post.
Amy
It was 12:45am on Monday morning, November 18th. I got up to use the bathroom, laid back down, and felt the urge to go again. By the time I got down the hall, the pad I was wearing (as I had been wearing them for a few days anticipating a water leak) was soaked. C-Bug (my nickname for her), had been playing havoc on my bladder for a few days. A week earlier I was concerned my water was leaking and she was just dancing on the bladder making me pee myself. Fun times.
I went back to my resting spot on the couch and continued to feel the wetness over the course of the following hour. I went up and down the hall to use the bathroom. I walked back and forth through the kitchen trying to figure out if I was truly leaking amniotic fluid or not. Eventually I walked outside and started walking on the porch.
Let me back up a minute here. Earlier in the evening I was so stressed from the stomach flu (see my earlier post), the tests I would go through the upcoming week, and the cheer competition my 8 year old daughter would be in that next weekend. I am also a coach for her cheer squad and have been teaching the competition dance (yes, at 9 months pregnant; I'm an over achiever.) I had been so worried about teaching the girls the remaining part of the dance, making sure they have everything they need, etc, that I was making myself sick. I just really wanted to make it through the competition. I finally realized how silly I was being. I prayed. I asked God to forgive me and finally let it go into his hands. I said, God, if it's your will I know I'll go tonight. I can't worry about cheer leading any longer, it will all work out. May your will be done in my life Lord, take these worries away. I immediately felt better.
Back to walking the porch. I stopped and looked up at the night sky. FULL MOON. All I could do was burst into laughter. Now the question was, do I wake up my husband? How long should I wait. No contractions yet, no bloody show. Was I entering labor?
I laid back down about 2 am, and my husband was waking up. I told him what was going on but I wasn't sure if I was in labor or not. Then, contractions started. Over the next hour I had 5 contractions. The rule was if you have 6 in an hour, call the doctor. So I told my husband to call his dad to come sit with our other two children and we should just go and be checked out. On the way to the hospital, I had two more contractions fairly close. We were fairly sure this was it.
After being checked in and let them examine me, it was confirmed my water had broken. It was 3:35 am. However, the contractions stopped. So we waited, with the option of starting Pitocin whenever I was ready to. I really did not want to be induced with Pitocin, it makes the contractions so painful. Not to mention, I was finally getting my appetite back from having the stomach flu and I was starving. Food was not an option. At some point I did talk them in to letting me have some jello, which was honestly just enough to piss me off. :-) If I would have known how long it was going to be I would have stayed home and had a good meal!!
Phone calls were made but we told everyone not to rush. It looked like this one was not going to be any quicker than the other two deliveries were. (13 hours with my first born, 11 with my second.) It was between 8-9am that my contractions started back. I was approaching 9 hours since my water broke so they really wanted to start the Pitocin. Grudgingly I let them, and requested my epidural within a half hour after that. Thank the Lord the doctor was in the hospital already and I didn't have to wait. I had been forewarned that if he wasn't there, it could be an hour or more.
The nurses complimented me on how I breathed through the contractions, encouraged me that I was doing a good job. The Pitocin was on the slowest drip possible so it was mainly all me with the contractions. By the time the doctor was in there, I was about to break the bed frame. They told me to sit up and lean over the rolling hospital table so they could get the epidural started. It took a few minutes but I finally managed and with the support of my husband, I stayed as still as a statue, even during contractions. My husband, nor the doctor, could believe I could manage to be so still while injecting me with numbing medicine and then the (apparently huge-although I've never seen it) epidural needle. Mind over matter.
Within just a few minutes I was pain free and watching the monitor to see when I was having contractions. They checked my cervix and I was at a 4. A short time later I was checked again and jumped from a 4 to a 6 while they were checking me. In no time I was at an 8. But, just like my other two babies, stayed that way for a while.
Her heart rate would drop some when I had a contraction so they decided to pump me full of fluid by iv and through my cervix. My husband and I talked about how she was doing the exact same thing as our first born. Not enough fluid, umbilical cord getting pinched somehow during contractions. It was identical. We were watched carefully for several hours.
My mom arrived, his mom came over on her lunch break, and his dad was there. Although his dad bolted for the waiting room when my contractions really started and I was in pain (prior to the epidural). About 3pm my mom called his mom to come back over, we were getting close. As I'm laying there listening to the moms and my husband talk, I'm watching her heart rate and contractions on the monitor. For her heart rate, it needed to stay in the blue area of the monitor. There was a pink line above and below showing if it got too high or too low. Finally, the entire heart monitor turned pink. I told the parents to get ready, the nurses and doctors were on their way. (The nurses watched the monitor from their station outside). Sure enough, here comes the whole team.
The bed was dropped and I was checked. The moms were encouraged to head for the door, as my husband and I had always agreed it was just to be the two of us during delivery. His mom begged to stay. At that point I didn't care if the Pope and President was there, it was time for her to come out. But by our wishes it was just my husband and I. It's bad enough for him to see me go through what I did, and I really didn't want anyone else to witness it. I also didn't know how aggressive I would get and the last thing I would want is to hurt some one's feelings.
I was just at a 9, and like my first born, I pushed to get to a 10. I managed to only say one cuss word during the whole ordeal. 50 minutes of pushing later, my teeny tiny, 4 pounds 13.6 ounce baby girl finally made her appearance. She was so stubborn! The nurses said she was in need of a spanking when she got here. She kept going back further with every push. But she made it and she was beautiful. Born at 4:29pm.
My doctor let me hold her while she worked on removing the afterbirth. I asked her if everything was okay and she smiled and assured me it was okay. She said she would just give it a little time. A half hour later though, she told me we would need to do a DNC to remove it as the placenta was just breaking apart.
The family was let in, along with my other two babies (who we sent on to school that day and were anxiously awaiting her arrival). I was shaking so badly everyone asked if I was cold. Strangely, I didn't feel cold but I shook like it. My nurse, (who was freaking awesome by the way) told us it was called Labor Shakes. As soon as the placenta was out it should stop. I finally had to ask one nurse to take my baby because I was terrified I was going to hurt her as bad as I was shaking. She took her and had my oldest daughter participate in bathing her for the first time. She was so patient with my oldest, explaining everything to her and answering all her questions.
During this time, the doctor had me sign my second form for a possible blood transfusion. They had me sign one with my original paperwork when I first got there, but now I had to sign one again, along with the forms for the DNC. It was also explained to me that in worse case scenario, I would have to have a hysterectomy. I had to sign forms for that as well. I'd love to see those papers now and compare my signature to my first forms. I was shaking so bad I could hardly hold the ink pen.
I asked my doctor, if it is a DNC, how long will it take. About a half hour.
If you have to do a hysterectomy, how? Will I be cut? How long will the surgery last?
My doctor, (a female thankfully and the best one), smiled and assured me if it was surgery, it would be a bikini cut and would take about an hour. But she really didn't think she would have to do a hysterectomy and was going to see if the surgeon would let me stay awake with the epidural.
Something just didn't set right with me. Call it my subconscious. I told everyone I loved them and wanted out of the room away from my kids fast. I didn't want them to see me as I started to fall apart. I cried the entire ride to the OR and kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to watch the ceiling lights go by above me. I was beginning to feel like I was in one of the episodes of the dramas on tv. Once in the OR, the surgeon told me that he felt more comfortable if he put me under. That way if things went the wrong direction, they wouldn't have to start over.
In the OR, they transferred me to the operating table. I have to say that was one of the strangest and scariest feelings I have ever experienced. I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. They put the mask on me to put me under and started fighting it off. I felt like I was being smothered. Then I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room some time later. I tried opening my eyes but they didn't want to cooperate. I remember even using my hands to hold my eyes open. I asked the nurse if I had a hysterectomy but she seemed hesitant to answer, so I asked her what time it was. It had been over three hours so I knew what the answer was.
Hysterectomy, at 36. What I would later find to be called Peripartum Hysterectomy.
The information I received over the next 24 hours would be shocking and overwhelming. I'll explain more in my next post.
Amy
Thursday, November 28, 2013
34, 35, & 36 Weeks Pregnant: Will Baby Be Premature?
My second child, my son, was born at 35 weeks gestation. The probability of having another baby early was high. My nerves were on edge leading up to the 35 week mark. I began nesting intensely in preparation for a possible early delivery. My husband said I was making him nervous and begging me to slow down. I couldn't slow down. Keeping busy was the only thing saving my sanity.
Finally we hit 35 weeks. The entire day I was on edge. I was so close to tears it wasn't even funny. When the day passed I was able to breathe a slight sigh of relief. We had made it one day further than I did with my son, which was a blessing. Each day that passed made me feel better.
Towards the end of the week though, I began having contractions. It was more like a continuous cramp, like a menstrual cramp. It became so bad that I couldn't help but let the tears flow. I was talking to my co-worker by phone and she made me go lay down for a while. So I did. I laid on my left side (as much as I could) for about an hour and a half. I managed to make it the rest of the work day and rested the remainder of the evening.
The next day I decided to call my OB since I was still having cramping. They wanted to see me right away. I went in and they did a check of my cervix. I had not dilated, no thinning, no signs of labor. Relief.
The following Monday I went in for my 36 week check up. I saw a different doctor this time. He measured my belly and said I was only measuring 30 centimeters. WHAT? I had been measuring 2 weeks ahead, then finally evened out to measure the same as my week. How did I go from 2 weeks ahead to 6 weeks behind? I had dropped again and wondered if that could be the case. Plus, my cervix had now thinned, the baby's head could be felt and I was dilated to a 2. The doctor said he wanted to do an ultrasound and stress test later in the week and continue to do them on a weekly basis. I went back in a couple days later for an ultra sound and it showed that the baby measured 33/34 weeks and was proportioned so everything was OK, I was just going to have a small baby. Guesstimate was 4 pounds 8 ounces at that time. So much for this one being my biggest baby.
The next day at work, that same doctor called me. He said he wanted me to have an umbilical screening at my next ultra sound. He said he wanted to make sure the baby was getting enough through the umbilical cord and if she was growing. If not, he would probably induce me. I asked if she could be small due to the fact that she started out a twin? He said he had thought of that and couldn't rule it out. So, for week 37 I was to have a stress test Monday, ultra sound with umbilical screening Tuesday, and another stress test on Thursday. Good grief.
I joked with co-workers and family that I would just walk the baby out over the weekend so I wouldn't have to go through all the extra testing.
On Friday night of week 36, my oldest, my daughter, came down with the stomach flu. By Saturday night I had it too. With this flu you couldn't eat, stayed nauseated, drinks tasted funny too. Finally on Sunday I found that drinking red Hawaiian Punch helped with the nausea so I had a couple of glasses.
A few hours later, the fun would really begin. The adventure that unfolded next would be life changing.
Please see my next post for a full detailed account of my delivery and what I incurred in the hours and days that followed. I am hoping my experience will help someone else that may go through a similar situation and give some first hand insight.
Finally we hit 35 weeks. The entire day I was on edge. I was so close to tears it wasn't even funny. When the day passed I was able to breathe a slight sigh of relief. We had made it one day further than I did with my son, which was a blessing. Each day that passed made me feel better.
Towards the end of the week though, I began having contractions. It was more like a continuous cramp, like a menstrual cramp. It became so bad that I couldn't help but let the tears flow. I was talking to my co-worker by phone and she made me go lay down for a while. So I did. I laid on my left side (as much as I could) for about an hour and a half. I managed to make it the rest of the work day and rested the remainder of the evening.
The next day I decided to call my OB since I was still having cramping. They wanted to see me right away. I went in and they did a check of my cervix. I had not dilated, no thinning, no signs of labor. Relief.
The following Monday I went in for my 36 week check up. I saw a different doctor this time. He measured my belly and said I was only measuring 30 centimeters. WHAT? I had been measuring 2 weeks ahead, then finally evened out to measure the same as my week. How did I go from 2 weeks ahead to 6 weeks behind? I had dropped again and wondered if that could be the case. Plus, my cervix had now thinned, the baby's head could be felt and I was dilated to a 2. The doctor said he wanted to do an ultrasound and stress test later in the week and continue to do them on a weekly basis. I went back in a couple days later for an ultra sound and it showed that the baby measured 33/34 weeks and was proportioned so everything was OK, I was just going to have a small baby. Guesstimate was 4 pounds 8 ounces at that time. So much for this one being my biggest baby.
The next day at work, that same doctor called me. He said he wanted me to have an umbilical screening at my next ultra sound. He said he wanted to make sure the baby was getting enough through the umbilical cord and if she was growing. If not, he would probably induce me. I asked if she could be small due to the fact that she started out a twin? He said he had thought of that and couldn't rule it out. So, for week 37 I was to have a stress test Monday, ultra sound with umbilical screening Tuesday, and another stress test on Thursday. Good grief.
I joked with co-workers and family that I would just walk the baby out over the weekend so I wouldn't have to go through all the extra testing.
On Friday night of week 36, my oldest, my daughter, came down with the stomach flu. By Saturday night I had it too. With this flu you couldn't eat, stayed nauseated, drinks tasted funny too. Finally on Sunday I found that drinking red Hawaiian Punch helped with the nausea so I had a couple of glasses.
A few hours later, the fun would really begin. The adventure that unfolded next would be life changing.
Please see my next post for a full detailed account of my delivery and what I incurred in the hours and days that followed. I am hoping my experience will help someone else that may go through a similar situation and give some first hand insight.
Friday, October 18, 2013
32 Weeks-Recommendation: Physical Therapy
T minus 8 weeks and counting.
If we make it that far. That's what I keep saying. Isn't that a favorite line for most pregnant women? You don't look like you could go any further, yet its highly possible you will go to the very end of term? My reason is different: my son was 5 weeks early. Supposedly, once you have one early, the rest are early. We'll just have to see how true this is.
Everything went great at the check up this week with the baby. For me, still undecided. My blood pressure was slightly elevated, 118/70 (I'm normally 100/60 or below, even when pregnant) but nothing to be concerned about. External cervix dilated but not internal, which the doctor told me was normal when you've had more than one child. Still having Braxton Hicks and the pain in my left left/groin is getting worse and worse. The doctor loved that I said I was cynical and a smart elic instead of crying. Much easier to deal with the hormonal crazy talking lady than the one that cries her eyes out. Even my poor husband would rather me be crazy than cry. He, nor most men bless, know what to do with a woman that's crying. And especially not this one. If I do cry, I get really angry and mad at myself that I let myself cry. See. Proof in point: crazy lady.
The OB said their was a secret weapon not utilized as much as it should be in pregnancy: physical therapy. She wants me to meet with one to help with the pain in my leg, as they are the experts and will know exactly what to do to help ease and release some of the tension. I haven't called them yet, still debating. I'm scared mostly at what it's going to cost, even with insurance. I'm a big girl, hopefully I can ride out the pain.
The pain is similar to that of the sciatic nerve (finally figured out how to spell it!). I have this searing pain that basically runs the length of my underwear line, but just on the left side. The OB made sure I didn't have a pelvic separation (OMG-Ouch! Can you imagine??) but thank goodness I don't. She said with the separation, it's usually painful on both sides. The other pain is to say that I think I know what a man must feel like to get kicked between the legs. Feels like I've been kicked repeatedly and swelling. All this makes trying to sleep look like a skit from SNL.
Yesterday I was in a town that had a Motherhood Maternity store, so I made a special stop in there. I bought the $20 maternity belt that became my best friend in my last pregnancy. I really wish I would have made the trip sooner. I ordered one online, but it had the hook and look fasteners and I outgrew it too fast. I love this one because it has Velcro that adjusts in two different places. It doesn't take away all the pain, but it does help lift the big old belly up a bit, relieving some of that stress and pain. In all 3 of my pregnancies now, each of the babies have been head down from at least 6 months on. Perfect for those little baseball swinging, guitar stringing, soccer ball kicking, dancing queen legs and arms to do major havoc on my reflux system.
So for now, I will more than likely continue to sleep on the couch, nap in the glider, and when my husband makes me feel guilty for leaving him alone (ha-my son always ends up in my place) I will try to sleep in the bed. Elevated. With more pillows and support cushions than a mattress store sells. These are the fun times of pregnancy!
Someone asked me at my baby shower if I was miserable yet, with that really sympathetic look like my pet died. Duh. I laughed. It's to be expected when you have had more than one birth and you are this far along. She couldn't believe that I was smiling and laughing about it and taking it so good. Look. This ain't my first rodeo. I knew what to expect for the most part. We just all have to find out what works best for us, bitch a little when we need to, and put on our big girl panties (don't get me started-I've changed 2 sizes up now) and deal with it.
Truth: Wouldn't have it any other way.
If we make it that far. That's what I keep saying. Isn't that a favorite line for most pregnant women? You don't look like you could go any further, yet its highly possible you will go to the very end of term? My reason is different: my son was 5 weeks early. Supposedly, once you have one early, the rest are early. We'll just have to see how true this is.
Everything went great at the check up this week with the baby. For me, still undecided. My blood pressure was slightly elevated, 118/70 (I'm normally 100/60 or below, even when pregnant) but nothing to be concerned about. External cervix dilated but not internal, which the doctor told me was normal when you've had more than one child. Still having Braxton Hicks and the pain in my left left/groin is getting worse and worse. The doctor loved that I said I was cynical and a smart elic instead of crying. Much easier to deal with the hormonal crazy talking lady than the one that cries her eyes out. Even my poor husband would rather me be crazy than cry. He, nor most men bless, know what to do with a woman that's crying. And especially not this one. If I do cry, I get really angry and mad at myself that I let myself cry. See. Proof in point: crazy lady.
The OB said their was a secret weapon not utilized as much as it should be in pregnancy: physical therapy. She wants me to meet with one to help with the pain in my leg, as they are the experts and will know exactly what to do to help ease and release some of the tension. I haven't called them yet, still debating. I'm scared mostly at what it's going to cost, even with insurance. I'm a big girl, hopefully I can ride out the pain.
The pain is similar to that of the sciatic nerve (finally figured out how to spell it!). I have this searing pain that basically runs the length of my underwear line, but just on the left side. The OB made sure I didn't have a pelvic separation (OMG-Ouch! Can you imagine??) but thank goodness I don't. She said with the separation, it's usually painful on both sides. The other pain is to say that I think I know what a man must feel like to get kicked between the legs. Feels like I've been kicked repeatedly and swelling. All this makes trying to sleep look like a skit from SNL.
Yesterday I was in a town that had a Motherhood Maternity store, so I made a special stop in there. I bought the $20 maternity belt that became my best friend in my last pregnancy. I really wish I would have made the trip sooner. I ordered one online, but it had the hook and look fasteners and I outgrew it too fast. I love this one because it has Velcro that adjusts in two different places. It doesn't take away all the pain, but it does help lift the big old belly up a bit, relieving some of that stress and pain. In all 3 of my pregnancies now, each of the babies have been head down from at least 6 months on. Perfect for those little baseball swinging, guitar stringing, soccer ball kicking, dancing queen legs and arms to do major havoc on my reflux system.
So for now, I will more than likely continue to sleep on the couch, nap in the glider, and when my husband makes me feel guilty for leaving him alone (ha-my son always ends up in my place) I will try to sleep in the bed. Elevated. With more pillows and support cushions than a mattress store sells. These are the fun times of pregnancy!
Someone asked me at my baby shower if I was miserable yet, with that really sympathetic look like my pet died. Duh. I laughed. It's to be expected when you have had more than one birth and you are this far along. She couldn't believe that I was smiling and laughing about it and taking it so good. Look. This ain't my first rodeo. I knew what to expect for the most part. We just all have to find out what works best for us, bitch a little when we need to, and put on our big girl panties (don't get me started-I've changed 2 sizes up now) and deal with it.
Truth: Wouldn't have it any other way.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
30 Weeks Pregnant and Braxton Hicks
I did a really, really dumb thing this weekend.
My daughter had her annual cheer leading performance at the fair Sunday. So, like I have in years past, we went early so she could ride until her heart was content, perform, and leave. We arrived at the fair a little before 11am and had to wait an hour for the rides to start. I thought everything opened at 10am. Ha. So, both kids rode rides and then her performance was at 2pm. We then left the fair, ran to the grocery store for some "had to have" items, and got home around 5pm that afternoon.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Monday I started having these cramps, similar to menstrual cramps, along with a lot of tightness in my tummy. Now I had felt this a couple of times last week and didn't think much about it. Monday was pretty rough so I decided to Google 30 weeks and cramps. 85% said the same thing: Braxton Hicks.
I had no clue.
These never occurred during my first 2 pregnancies. I always thought Braxton Hicks were supposed to be like the real thing, just false labor. Completely different feeling. Several of the forums I read said you may want to go to Labor and Delivery or call your doctor asap. It's Wednesday and I am still feeling them but honestly I'm not concerned yet. I think I just over did myself and need time to relax (which I haven't done yet). I think it's all up to you and whether or not you feel like you need to go. If I get up and walk around then it gets better. Some say, lay on your left side. Let me tell you something. I haven't been able to fully lay down now in about 2 weeks and I don't see that changing. I have to lay propped up, tilt the belly to the left, left leg laid to the side, right leg bent and up. Very lady like. But it's the only way I can rest and be able to get up the next day and actually be able to walk. It sucks.
I have my next appointment on the 15th, and I'm hoping I can go until then without having to call the OB. I am honestly so scared they will put me on bed rest that I don't want to call. I really think bed rest might physically kill me.
I would love to hear if anyone else has been through the Braxton Hicks and your experience. I'll update as soon as I can.
Amy
My daughter had her annual cheer leading performance at the fair Sunday. So, like I have in years past, we went early so she could ride until her heart was content, perform, and leave. We arrived at the fair a little before 11am and had to wait an hour for the rides to start. I thought everything opened at 10am. Ha. So, both kids rode rides and then her performance was at 2pm. We then left the fair, ran to the grocery store for some "had to have" items, and got home around 5pm that afternoon.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Monday I started having these cramps, similar to menstrual cramps, along with a lot of tightness in my tummy. Now I had felt this a couple of times last week and didn't think much about it. Monday was pretty rough so I decided to Google 30 weeks and cramps. 85% said the same thing: Braxton Hicks.
I had no clue.
These never occurred during my first 2 pregnancies. I always thought Braxton Hicks were supposed to be like the real thing, just false labor. Completely different feeling. Several of the forums I read said you may want to go to Labor and Delivery or call your doctor asap. It's Wednesday and I am still feeling them but honestly I'm not concerned yet. I think I just over did myself and need time to relax (which I haven't done yet). I think it's all up to you and whether or not you feel like you need to go. If I get up and walk around then it gets better. Some say, lay on your left side. Let me tell you something. I haven't been able to fully lay down now in about 2 weeks and I don't see that changing. I have to lay propped up, tilt the belly to the left, left leg laid to the side, right leg bent and up. Very lady like. But it's the only way I can rest and be able to get up the next day and actually be able to walk. It sucks.
I have my next appointment on the 15th, and I'm hoping I can go until then without having to call the OB. I am honestly so scared they will put me on bed rest that I don't want to call. I really think bed rest might physically kill me.
I would love to hear if anyone else has been through the Braxton Hicks and your experience. I'll update as soon as I can.
Amy
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
28 Weeks-Living With a Hormonally Charged Pregnant Woman
Since I had the tooth pulled, things started to look up. However, I had to eat on the opposite side of my mouth for two weeks, on a tooth that was also broken. I have another molar that needs pulling, and I have to be put to sleep. No dentist can get me numb enough to work on it or pull it. Yay me. What ended up happening? A nasty infection putting me in more searing pain than I was in before. I was hoping it was my sinus' acting up again so I took a trip back to the minute clinic, where they confirmed it was in fact my tooth and couldn't give me anything for it. I called my OB, and they said take Claritin and Tylenol, and call my dentist. Of course this was on the Friday before Labor Day and guess what? The dentist was closed already.
So on Saturday night, through tears and ice packs and hot compresses, I made the decision to go to the ER. I told them, I don't want pain medicine, I know I can't take it. If I could still have ibuprofen I think I could survive. But my face was swelling and it was obviously infected and I couldn't wait until Tuesday to see the dentist to get an antibiotic. PLEASE for the love all holy give me an antibiotic. They did. By the next night I was feeling relief.
I finally saw the dentist and they took an x-ray showing me the fluid by the tooth and told me to see what my OB would let me do. Of course the OB said it was better to wait but if it kept flaring up that I could be IV sedated and have it pulled. In the meantime, I can take antibiotics if I have a flare up. Praying I make it until after baby arrives.
So, for the title of my post. I have been a raging hormonal mess this pregnancy. Seriously, I can't stand myself some days. My first pregnancy was a breeze compared to my last one and now this one. My husband was on pins and needles waiting for me to go all psycho and I never did. My second pregnancy was quite painful with the pressure and sciatic nerve acting up, but I still kept my cool most of the time.
Is it because I'm older? Is it due to all the crap I have gone through so far this pregnancy? Is it just the hormones taking over? I may never know the answer to this one. But good grief! I've gone in to clean and neat freak frenzy. I still have the nesting urge, but I don't have the energy. Right now I can't seem to get enough sleep. It drives me nuts that I can't do all the things I want to do. My dear husband has to remind me that I'm pregnant and can't do it all. But why not?? I'm pregnant, not handicapped. If being pregnant means being handicapped then get me a tag for my car at least so I can park up front at the stores.
Everything seems to set me off. The dishwasher needs to be emptied. The trash needs to go out. Why are there dirty clothes all over the floor? Why do I have to go into "mom's been possessed" mode to get anyone to help me? Even then they just take cover instead of helping. I feel like times running out and we are so not prepared for baby girl to get here. The nursery hasn't even been started yet! 12 weeks to go and I have this fear that I will go early again. If I go 5 weeks early, then that means I have 7 weeks to go and that's what I keep looking at.
No wonder I'm nuts.
I always felt like some women took advantage of being pregnant. Being bossy, mean, moody. All of it controllable if they wanted to.
I've had to re-think that matter.
The best thing I have found for me, is to go out to our little farm every night and sit in the bench swing. It's cool enough now and the kids are in bed at an early hour for school, so I can enjoy some me time. I sit out there for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. It's how I unwind to sleep and so far it's helped.
Any suggestions for toning down the pregnancy hormones? If you made this far, again, congratulations and thank you!
Amy
So on Saturday night, through tears and ice packs and hot compresses, I made the decision to go to the ER. I told them, I don't want pain medicine, I know I can't take it. If I could still have ibuprofen I think I could survive. But my face was swelling and it was obviously infected and I couldn't wait until Tuesday to see the dentist to get an antibiotic. PLEASE for the love all holy give me an antibiotic. They did. By the next night I was feeling relief.
I finally saw the dentist and they took an x-ray showing me the fluid by the tooth and told me to see what my OB would let me do. Of course the OB said it was better to wait but if it kept flaring up that I could be IV sedated and have it pulled. In the meantime, I can take antibiotics if I have a flare up. Praying I make it until after baby arrives.
So, for the title of my post. I have been a raging hormonal mess this pregnancy. Seriously, I can't stand myself some days. My first pregnancy was a breeze compared to my last one and now this one. My husband was on pins and needles waiting for me to go all psycho and I never did. My second pregnancy was quite painful with the pressure and sciatic nerve acting up, but I still kept my cool most of the time.
Is it because I'm older? Is it due to all the crap I have gone through so far this pregnancy? Is it just the hormones taking over? I may never know the answer to this one. But good grief! I've gone in to clean and neat freak frenzy. I still have the nesting urge, but I don't have the energy. Right now I can't seem to get enough sleep. It drives me nuts that I can't do all the things I want to do. My dear husband has to remind me that I'm pregnant and can't do it all. But why not?? I'm pregnant, not handicapped. If being pregnant means being handicapped then get me a tag for my car at least so I can park up front at the stores.
Everything seems to set me off. The dishwasher needs to be emptied. The trash needs to go out. Why are there dirty clothes all over the floor? Why do I have to go into "mom's been possessed" mode to get anyone to help me? Even then they just take cover instead of helping. I feel like times running out and we are so not prepared for baby girl to get here. The nursery hasn't even been started yet! 12 weeks to go and I have this fear that I will go early again. If I go 5 weeks early, then that means I have 7 weeks to go and that's what I keep looking at.
No wonder I'm nuts.
I always felt like some women took advantage of being pregnant. Being bossy, mean, moody. All of it controllable if they wanted to.
I've had to re-think that matter.
The best thing I have found for me, is to go out to our little farm every night and sit in the bench swing. It's cool enough now and the kids are in bed at an early hour for school, so I can enjoy some me time. I sit out there for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. It's how I unwind to sleep and so far it's helped.
Any suggestions for toning down the pregnancy hormones? If you made this far, again, congratulations and thank you!
Amy
Third Trimester, The Dentist & The Birthday
I'm 24 weeks and officially in the 3rd trimester. Yay! However the last few weeks have been rather rough.
Two weeks ago a crown on my bottom left became loose. It drove me nuts! Finally it broke off and I had an appointment scheduled to remove the tooth...in September, over a month away! It had a rough edge and thankfully the dentist filed it down. In the meantime, I had to eat on the right side of my mouth where I also have a broken lower jaw tooth. It can't be filled or pulled with regular Novocaine. I have to be put to sleep by an oral surgeon. This is not possible while pregnant.
So, due to the broken crown, I ate on the right side down too with a broken tooth. Total mess. Then last week I started getting an earache on the right and my right tooth hurt too. Bad. Really bad. I went to the minute clinic and was calling my ob after hours bad. Sinus infection and worse on the right. Antibiotic and nada for pain.
Until my ob called back.
He said ibuprofen was safe during the 2nd trimester only, which meant I could have it until Sunday.
I could hear angels singing praise.
The dentist got me an earlier appointment to have the broken crown pulled. Yesterday. I was relieved and terrified all the same. It was a nightmare to get it out. He had to cut it into 2 pieces by the roots and pull each one. Apparently the tooth under the crown had been bad for some time and I never knew it. It kept breaking as he tried to pull it. An hour later it was out, but I wasn't so sure I didn't have a broken jaw!!
Interesting fact about dental work when pregnant: you can't have the regular Novocaine. You know, the kind that leaves you numb for several hours. The kind safe and approved for me lasted only about 45 minutes. Which meant by the time we made the 45 minute drive back home, sat in line at the pharmacy another 45 minutes, I thought I was dying. It seriously felt like I had been in a boxing match and lost.
At home, I let the approved pain medicine start to work and used cold ice packs. The downfall: the medicine kept me WIDE awake. I was so sure that today would be horrible.
Thankfully, today, my birthday, has been completely tolerable. I was pleasantly surprised. The kids were even on their best behavior for 24 hours before going bonkers tonight. And I was very selfish. I played the "it's my birthday, can't y'all please get along and mind?!" card tonight.
If you made it to the end, congrats! I should have posted more often and broken this in to multiple posts, but that medicine is not out of my system and I'm wide awake and mind is in overdrive!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Pregnancy Randomness and Rants of a Hormonal Mom #1
Let's face it, as women in general we are very random human beings and do tend to go on some ranting venues every blue (or just full) moon. Myself, I bottle things up for the most part and don't say anything until I am at a breaking point, which typically scares the crap out of my family. I'm not alone in this, I know several of you are chuckling and nodding your heads. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
With pregnancy, those blasted hormones get in the way of all normal thinking. What would be a "normal" breaking point becomes close to the definition of what it takes to get admitted to a psych ward. This weekend for example, my 8 year old is mad because I won't let her have her way, so she says she is running away to Nana's. Usually, I would just get ill, have a nice little talking to with her, and be over it. Actually, I usually end up in a battle of the wits with her which drives me INSANE. But, she gets it honest. This time, I go to my husband and say "I'm just not speaking to her the rest of the day. I can't say or do anything right with her so I'm just not talking to her." Okay, childish much momma? If that wasn't bad enough, I start sobbing uncontrollably because she has hurt my feelings. (I already have a little complex that she loves her Nana more than me--again, I know I'm not the only mom with this feeling!) So what do I do? Lock myself in the bathroom.
I absolutely hate more than anything to cry. Very few movies make me cry and most of the ones that do are for good tears. Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman? OMG the church scene near the end will have me flowing like a waterfall. Love that movie. But, if you make me mad enough to cry, or my feelings get hurt enough to cry, then Lord help us all. And the feelings thing, usually has only occurred during pregnancy. At least since I've become an adult. If I cry, then I get furious with myself for crying. And I am probably going to cry on and off the rest of the day because of it.
So then my daughter gets upset that she has upset me. My husband, mom, and mother in law all agree that it wasn't a bad thing that it upset her. My loving 8 year old doesn't think about other people's feelings a lot of times so maybe this was an eye opener. (The Nana thing has been used on more than just me, more than once, and enough times to hurt multiple feelings.) While I agree that maybe it ended up being a good thing, it made me feel like worst mom of the year. MOM'S GONE CRAZY! Yep, that's me.
My poor husband would rather me be a start raving lunatic than for me to cry. He can laugh when I'm going on a tangent, or figure out what to do to calm me down and help. But crying. Nope. I don't think any man knows what to do with a crying woman. Honestly, neither do I!
Okay so that's my soap box for the day. I won't even get started on how bad the house looks and how I may have to hire a cleaning crew even though there are 3 other very capable beings in this house to help me out that just don't get it. That's all for now.
Happy Hump Day people!
Amy
With pregnancy, those blasted hormones get in the way of all normal thinking. What would be a "normal" breaking point becomes close to the definition of what it takes to get admitted to a psych ward. This weekend for example, my 8 year old is mad because I won't let her have her way, so she says she is running away to Nana's. Usually, I would just get ill, have a nice little talking to with her, and be over it. Actually, I usually end up in a battle of the wits with her which drives me INSANE. But, she gets it honest. This time, I go to my husband and say "I'm just not speaking to her the rest of the day. I can't say or do anything right with her so I'm just not talking to her." Okay, childish much momma? If that wasn't bad enough, I start sobbing uncontrollably because she has hurt my feelings. (I already have a little complex that she loves her Nana more than me--again, I know I'm not the only mom with this feeling!) So what do I do? Lock myself in the bathroom.
I absolutely hate more than anything to cry. Very few movies make me cry and most of the ones that do are for good tears. Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman? OMG the church scene near the end will have me flowing like a waterfall. Love that movie. But, if you make me mad enough to cry, or my feelings get hurt enough to cry, then Lord help us all. And the feelings thing, usually has only occurred during pregnancy. At least since I've become an adult. If I cry, then I get furious with myself for crying. And I am probably going to cry on and off the rest of the day because of it.
So then my daughter gets upset that she has upset me. My husband, mom, and mother in law all agree that it wasn't a bad thing that it upset her. My loving 8 year old doesn't think about other people's feelings a lot of times so maybe this was an eye opener. (The Nana thing has been used on more than just me, more than once, and enough times to hurt multiple feelings.) While I agree that maybe it ended up being a good thing, it made me feel like worst mom of the year. MOM'S GONE CRAZY! Yep, that's me.
My poor husband would rather me be a start raving lunatic than for me to cry. He can laugh when I'm going on a tangent, or figure out what to do to calm me down and help. But crying. Nope. I don't think any man knows what to do with a crying woman. Honestly, neither do I!
Okay so that's my soap box for the day. I won't even get started on how bad the house looks and how I may have to hire a cleaning crew even though there are 3 other very capable beings in this house to help me out that just don't get it. That's all for now.
Happy Hump Day people!
Amy
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Halfway There! Ultrasound Says....Marginal Placenta Previa
Tomorrow marks the 20 week bump! We are halfway there and it's hard to believe. This past Monday we had our gender revealing ultrasound. Based on heart rate of 145 the past few visits, how low I'm carrying, and the fact that I look like I've swallowed a basketball instead of the Pillsbury Dough Boy, we all thought I was having a boy. So when the nurse said, GIRL, I had to do a double take and question her! Another girl!!! Happy dance!
Don't get me wrong, I'd be just as happy with another hotwheel toting, Thomas the Train loving, Lightning McQueen fanatic. However, I can't make as many cute clothes for a boy as I can a girl. I didn't start sewing until my little diva was 2, and by then she was already highly opinionated in what she wore. And hair bows? Forget it. It's all I can do to get her to brush her hair. She's a tomboy priss pot, just like I was. What's going to be really exciting is making all 3 of them matching outfits for Christmas. As long as I can find a Christmas pattern that is gender neutral. :-)
We didn't see a doctor on Monday and were told we have to wait until our next appointment on August 1st to review the ultrasound. As luck would have it though, I ended up fighting a sore throat that only got worse and I had to go back in yesterday. That's when the doctor told me I have what is known as "marginal placenta previa". Apparently the placenta is sitting partially over the cervix right now, but he hopes that as the baby grows, the placenta will move up to where it is supposed to be. Of course I asked him, what if it doesn't? If it becomes complete or even partial, we are looking at a C-section. Not what I wanted to hear.
I had very little complications during my prior two child births. They were both long: 13 hours and 11 hours. With my first, the umbilical cord was too close to her neck and with every contraction it caused her heart rate to decrease. They had to put fluid back in me to get her floating. Because of this, I only received one small round of pain meds in the very beginning. I was a total She-Ra. No epidural.
My water broke with my son 5 weeks early. The contractions were slim and I was not dilating quick enough, so they gave me Petocin. Had I know ahead of time what Petocin did, I would have demanded an epidural first. Instead, I endured about over half the labor with intense pain. I tucked my tail between my legs and got the epidural.
I really do not want a C-Section. The recovery is longer, half the time or more there is a big gaping scar, complications that can arise. I just don't want one.
But, I am putting this, like everything else, in God's hands and asking for His will to be done. I'm trying to look at the plus sides to a C-Section. 1), because this is not my first child, I stand a higher chance of them tying my tubes while in there. 2), I can hopefully choose my due date. If so, then I choose the day before Thanksgiving, giving me extra time off work-paid. Now, if they would do a Britney Spears bikini cut C-Section, that might be okay too.
Time will tell. I go for a follow up ultrasound in 6 weeks to see if it's moved at all. I'm not sure if bed rest will be required if it becomes a complete placenta previa. That's the only thing I've allowed myself to read about. Most women that have posted on the subject has been complete split reviews. Some say they were on complete, some on "couch potato" bed rest, and some their doctors thought no activity was actually worse. The doctor warned me not to read into it too much, it might freak me out more than necessary. So we'll take this one bridge at a time.
I'll update again after the next ultrasound, and in between if anything else arises. Hope you all are enjoying your summer!
Amy
Don't get me wrong, I'd be just as happy with another hotwheel toting, Thomas the Train loving, Lightning McQueen fanatic. However, I can't make as many cute clothes for a boy as I can a girl. I didn't start sewing until my little diva was 2, and by then she was already highly opinionated in what she wore. And hair bows? Forget it. It's all I can do to get her to brush her hair. She's a tomboy priss pot, just like I was. What's going to be really exciting is making all 3 of them matching outfits for Christmas. As long as I can find a Christmas pattern that is gender neutral. :-)
We didn't see a doctor on Monday and were told we have to wait until our next appointment on August 1st to review the ultrasound. As luck would have it though, I ended up fighting a sore throat that only got worse and I had to go back in yesterday. That's when the doctor told me I have what is known as "marginal placenta previa". Apparently the placenta is sitting partially over the cervix right now, but he hopes that as the baby grows, the placenta will move up to where it is supposed to be. Of course I asked him, what if it doesn't? If it becomes complete or even partial, we are looking at a C-section. Not what I wanted to hear.
I had very little complications during my prior two child births. They were both long: 13 hours and 11 hours. With my first, the umbilical cord was too close to her neck and with every contraction it caused her heart rate to decrease. They had to put fluid back in me to get her floating. Because of this, I only received one small round of pain meds in the very beginning. I was a total She-Ra. No epidural.
My water broke with my son 5 weeks early. The contractions were slim and I was not dilating quick enough, so they gave me Petocin. Had I know ahead of time what Petocin did, I would have demanded an epidural first. Instead, I endured about over half the labor with intense pain. I tucked my tail between my legs and got the epidural.
I really do not want a C-Section. The recovery is longer, half the time or more there is a big gaping scar, complications that can arise. I just don't want one.
But, I am putting this, like everything else, in God's hands and asking for His will to be done. I'm trying to look at the plus sides to a C-Section. 1), because this is not my first child, I stand a higher chance of them tying my tubes while in there. 2), I can hopefully choose my due date. If so, then I choose the day before Thanksgiving, giving me extra time off work-paid. Now, if they would do a Britney Spears bikini cut C-Section, that might be okay too.
Time will tell. I go for a follow up ultrasound in 6 weeks to see if it's moved at all. I'm not sure if bed rest will be required if it becomes a complete placenta previa. That's the only thing I've allowed myself to read about. Most women that have posted on the subject has been complete split reviews. Some say they were on complete, some on "couch potato" bed rest, and some their doctors thought no activity was actually worse. The doctor warned me not to read into it too much, it might freak me out more than necessary. So we'll take this one bridge at a time.
I'll update again after the next ultrasound, and in between if anything else arises. Hope you all are enjoying your summer!
Amy
Monday, June 10, 2013
First Trimester Completed!
Finally, we are done with the first trimester and entering the second. Now, where's that magic button that changes the symptoms and such immediately with it? It doesn't exist? Very unfair.
One thing that has improved is the extreme nausea. Of course the urge to eat hasn't died down any, but a few extra calories are needed. I eat a small breakfast, usually an early lunch, snack in the afternoon and eat more than I should for supper. It works and my weight gain is pretty much on track. So far, I have gained a total of about 7 pounds, but that's after loosing about 4. Not too bad, even though if you saw my belly you might disagree. I'm not brave enough to post those photos yet, but soon.
One thing that I wish would improve is my lack of patience. They said "patience is a virtue". What the crap does that mean anyway?? It's a characteristic one either has or learns that allows them to patiently await something without agitation or frustration. Yeah....not happening these days. I can patiently wait for my 2 children to stop ignoring me and do what I ask of them rather than begging/pleading/screaming and smile all day like Mary Friggin Poppins. Or deal with ignorant drivers that are trying to kill me speeding up and down the highway. Let me just start singing "zipadeedooda".
Are you laughing yet? I'm sure my little rant is quite funny, but ask my hubby, don't laugh in my presence when I'm in a wild tangent.
The nausea has subsided for the most part, but I'm still tired. I have a little more energy during the day but when I crash, I CRASH. Getting up is getting harder and harder, but thankfully school just let out for summer and I can get an extra hour to an hour and a half of sleep in the mornings. IF my bladder will let me.
Another oh so fun side effect right now is acid reflux. I swear I don't know which is worse: constant pain from heartburn/indigestion, or the urge to puke continuously due to the reflux. Bring on the ice cream.
Rant over. More soon!
Thanks for sticking around or just stopping by. Hopefully my little chaotic world will bring some much needed laughter in to yours.
Amy
One thing that has improved is the extreme nausea. Of course the urge to eat hasn't died down any, but a few extra calories are needed. I eat a small breakfast, usually an early lunch, snack in the afternoon and eat more than I should for supper. It works and my weight gain is pretty much on track. So far, I have gained a total of about 7 pounds, but that's after loosing about 4. Not too bad, even though if you saw my belly you might disagree. I'm not brave enough to post those photos yet, but soon.
One thing that I wish would improve is my lack of patience. They said "patience is a virtue". What the crap does that mean anyway?? It's a characteristic one either has or learns that allows them to patiently await something without agitation or frustration. Yeah....not happening these days. I can patiently wait for my 2 children to stop ignoring me and do what I ask of them rather than begging/pleading/screaming and smile all day like Mary Friggin Poppins. Or deal with ignorant drivers that are trying to kill me speeding up and down the highway. Let me just start singing "zipadeedooda".
Are you laughing yet? I'm sure my little rant is quite funny, but ask my hubby, don't laugh in my presence when I'm in a wild tangent.
The nausea has subsided for the most part, but I'm still tired. I have a little more energy during the day but when I crash, I CRASH. Getting up is getting harder and harder, but thankfully school just let out for summer and I can get an extra hour to an hour and a half of sleep in the mornings. IF my bladder will let me.
Another oh so fun side effect right now is acid reflux. I swear I don't know which is worse: constant pain from heartburn/indigestion, or the urge to puke continuously due to the reflux. Bring on the ice cream.
Rant over. More soon!
Thanks for sticking around or just stopping by. Hopefully my little chaotic world will bring some much needed laughter in to yours.
Amy
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Patience and Stress During Pregnacy
A lack of patience and high stress levels are not good for anyone, much less a pregnant woman. I wonder why it is that we can get so wound up? Hormones. Always those blasted hormones. There should be a hormone blocker we could take.
Typically I'm high strung, but, how do I put it, I don't have confrontations with people. I take and take and take and then I might eventually blow, but it takes A LOT. I'm high strung when it comes to housework, school work, getting everything done in a 24 hour period that would normally require double that. But I don't get "ill" with people.
Case in point. I went off like a bat out of you know where today on my co-workers. One little statement put me over the edge. Half the time I can't tell if they are joking or being smartelics but I take it. I don't let things get me worked up. I hate confrontation and typically feel so bad if I have one that I can't sleep at night. I'm a small town girl working with big city girls. I'm the red headed step child and constantly picked on. Whatever, we have fun with it. Most of the time. Today was not the day.
So, now what do we do to calm these raging hormones? Go for a walk? Read a book? Find a quiet place? I have 2 children already, a husband, dog, cat and a farm. There is NO QUIET PLACE. My husband works 2nd shift so I'm here most nights with the kids by myself when I get off work. I can't afford a babysitter and when all the family members work, no one wants to watch the kids for me. So I can't have any "quiet time" to cool down. It used to be that doing my crafts calmed me down, but everything is so chaotic. If I can't do my crafts without interruption then I just get stressed all over again.
Everything I read on Baby Center talks about saying "No" and asking for help, talking to your partner (ha! he's probably more stressed than you are!!), deep breathing, go for a walk, go to bed early, eat healthy, yada yada. Look, it's not that I'm not trying. I am eating healthy and I'm "talking" to my husband (and he seems to be getting more and more terrified of me by the day), but as far as going to be early? I'm lucky if I can get in the bed before midnight. I would love to go to bed earlier but it never happens. By the time I get the kids down, and back in bed, and fill up sippy cups, and back in bed, then fix dinner for my husband (who gets home usually after they are in bed), get my shower and lay down...it's midnight.
So, I'm looking for some "let's get real here" techniques to calming down. Actually, typing this little blog here has already seemed to have lowered my heart rate back to normal. Maybe just having a place to vent is what you need. I'm going to put this as my number one way to calm stress:
Journaling
Whether it be a blog, a notebook, a diary, just pick something. After it's all said and done you may want to go back and read it one day for a good laugh. Or, save it for a daughter or one day daughter in law. Man, I wish my mom would have kept journals. It would be nice to see what she went through and how she did it. Or, if you are more private, toss it when you're done.
Okay I know this got kind of long and there are no fun pictures to look at. But if you are sticking with me on this (or find it years to come), I hope you are enjoying. I'd love to hear from you on ways to maintain your stress levels. I'm up for any option!
Amy
Typically I'm high strung, but, how do I put it, I don't have confrontations with people. I take and take and take and then I might eventually blow, but it takes A LOT. I'm high strung when it comes to housework, school work, getting everything done in a 24 hour period that would normally require double that. But I don't get "ill" with people.
Case in point. I went off like a bat out of you know where today on my co-workers. One little statement put me over the edge. Half the time I can't tell if they are joking or being smartelics but I take it. I don't let things get me worked up. I hate confrontation and typically feel so bad if I have one that I can't sleep at night. I'm a small town girl working with big city girls. I'm the red headed step child and constantly picked on. Whatever, we have fun with it. Most of the time. Today was not the day.
So, now what do we do to calm these raging hormones? Go for a walk? Read a book? Find a quiet place? I have 2 children already, a husband, dog, cat and a farm. There is NO QUIET PLACE. My husband works 2nd shift so I'm here most nights with the kids by myself when I get off work. I can't afford a babysitter and when all the family members work, no one wants to watch the kids for me. So I can't have any "quiet time" to cool down. It used to be that doing my crafts calmed me down, but everything is so chaotic. If I can't do my crafts without interruption then I just get stressed all over again.
Everything I read on Baby Center talks about saying "No" and asking for help, talking to your partner (ha! he's probably more stressed than you are!!), deep breathing, go for a walk, go to bed early, eat healthy, yada yada. Look, it's not that I'm not trying. I am eating healthy and I'm "talking" to my husband (and he seems to be getting more and more terrified of me by the day), but as far as going to be early? I'm lucky if I can get in the bed before midnight. I would love to go to bed earlier but it never happens. By the time I get the kids down, and back in bed, and fill up sippy cups, and back in bed, then fix dinner for my husband (who gets home usually after they are in bed), get my shower and lay down...it's midnight.
So, I'm looking for some "let's get real here" techniques to calming down. Actually, typing this little blog here has already seemed to have lowered my heart rate back to normal. Maybe just having a place to vent is what you need. I'm going to put this as my number one way to calm stress:
Journaling
Whether it be a blog, a notebook, a diary, just pick something. After it's all said and done you may want to go back and read it one day for a good laugh. Or, save it for a daughter or one day daughter in law. Man, I wish my mom would have kept journals. It would be nice to see what she went through and how she did it. Or, if you are more private, toss it when you're done.
Okay I know this got kind of long and there are no fun pictures to look at. But if you are sticking with me on this (or find it years to come), I hope you are enjoying. I'd love to hear from you on ways to maintain your stress levels. I'm up for any option!
Amy
Monday, May 20, 2013
Follow Up Ultrasound 10 Weeks
While I was secretly hoping there was a mistake and I was still caring twins, this was not the case. However, it was still good news. Baby #1 is growing right on track! The arms and legs are even starting to develop! It was an amazing moment, the one I have been waiting for. Hearing that heartbeat, seeing the baby move around and discovering just how much growing has taken place over the past couple of weeks.
Baby #2 has absorbed just as they predicted. You can see just a tiny fleck in the 2nd sac that is still present. The sac will more than likely stick around through out the pregnancy, although it shouldn't get any larger. This is part of the reason I look so much bigger than 11 weeks.
11 WEEKS!!
Almost out of this dreaded 1st Trimester business. I'm hoping to enjoy the 2nd trimester. Typically the energy starts picking back up, you feel more of a safety zone, and you get to find out the gender! Now that's something I'm really excited for. I can't wait to start planning everything. I already have colors picked out for a boy and for a girl. No specific theme this time though. Just simple.
Another good bit of news, the OB told me I can gradually start increasing my activity as long as I feel okay. I go back in 3 weeks for a follow up and then I can go to regular monthly visits from there. I already feel like such a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I know that I am going to have to be more cautious this entire pregnancy but, I believe God has this and will not bring me to anything that He cannot bring me through. It's still hard not to think about what might have been with twins, but I keep trying to focus on the good and the fact that I have a healthy baby growing in my tummy right now. We got this!
Look for more updates to come! Thank you all for your continued prayers!
Amy
Baby #2 has absorbed just as they predicted. You can see just a tiny fleck in the 2nd sac that is still present. The sac will more than likely stick around through out the pregnancy, although it shouldn't get any larger. This is part of the reason I look so much bigger than 11 weeks.
11 WEEKS!!
Almost out of this dreaded 1st Trimester business. I'm hoping to enjoy the 2nd trimester. Typically the energy starts picking back up, you feel more of a safety zone, and you get to find out the gender! Now that's something I'm really excited for. I can't wait to start planning everything. I already have colors picked out for a boy and for a girl. No specific theme this time though. Just simple.
Another good bit of news, the OB told me I can gradually start increasing my activity as long as I feel okay. I go back in 3 weeks for a follow up and then I can go to regular monthly visits from there. I already feel like such a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I know that I am going to have to be more cautious this entire pregnancy but, I believe God has this and will not bring me to anything that He cannot bring me through. It's still hard not to think about what might have been with twins, but I keep trying to focus on the good and the fact that I have a healthy baby growing in my tummy right now. We got this!
Look for more updates to come! Thank you all for your continued prayers!
Amy
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Second Ultra Sound Today
In 2 hours and 30 minutes to be exact. This is my first ultra sound since finding out about one of the twins not surviving. I'm more optimistic this go round, even though I'm extremely anxious and nervous. I'm really hoping this will be my shinning moment to relish my new baby bambino growing in my tummy.
I will try to post again tonight the outcome and any new information I am able to obtain. I have a long list of questions for my OB that I didn't get to discuss at my last visit. I'm already experiencing similar pain that I had with my son, all that pressure and the pysotic (sp?) nerve. I went grocery shopping the other night and by the time I got home I could hardly walk. I really hope this pregnancy will not be as painful as the last one was. But that's a story for another day.
Keep us in your prayers!
Amy
I will try to post again tonight the outcome and any new information I am able to obtain. I have a long list of questions for my OB that I didn't get to discuss at my last visit. I'm already experiencing similar pain that I had with my son, all that pressure and the pysotic (sp?) nerve. I went grocery shopping the other night and by the time I got home I could hardly walk. I really hope this pregnancy will not be as painful as the last one was. But that's a story for another day.
Keep us in your prayers!
Amy
Monday, May 13, 2013
10 Weeks and Counting
Officially 10 weeks today and counting down to the next appointment. Back to the OB on Thursday afternoon for the follow up ultrasound. After the first ultrasound didn't go so well, I really need this one. You need that first one to confirm what you already know: that you're pregnant, but it sort of makes it all more a reality. Since my appointment was split news, I never really got my "a ha!" moment or moment of joy. Looking forward to Thursday.
Right now I'm trying not to over think things and just be patient. I have a nasty sinus infection and I really hope they can put me on some type of antibiotic when I go. I'd go early to the doctor, but there is no chance of an earlier ultrasound, so I'm holding out as long as I can.
I'll update by Friday with the results. Please keep us in your prayers!
Amy
Right now I'm trying not to over think things and just be patient. I have a nasty sinus infection and I really hope they can put me on some type of antibiotic when I go. I'd go early to the doctor, but there is no chance of an earlier ultrasound, so I'm holding out as long as I can.
I'll update by Friday with the results. Please keep us in your prayers!
Amy
Monday, May 6, 2013
9 Weeks Today
Today marks 9 weeks into the pregnancy. Another week and 3 days until I can go back for my next ultra sound. Yes, I am most definitely counting down. There is this part of me that is praying and begging for the last ultra sound to be a mistake. Is it possible to be carrying babies that are a couple weeks apart? Rare, but possible. It's called Superfetation. You can already be pregnant and another egg release, and it can happen up to 24 days apart. Which my doctor agreed was possible, but she couldn't find a heart beat on the ultra sound. I'm wondering though, if it was just too early to tell?
I'm trying real hard not to get my hopes up about this. The main thing is focusing on Baby #1 being as healthy as he/she can be.
I'm also secretly hoping that there is a 3rd baby in there that was missed. The reason I am hoping this is completely crazy I'm sure. Have you ever done the "pencil test"? I grew up where you put a threaded needle in the eraser end of a pencil, then hold the pointed end of the pencil over your wrist. It begins to move. A circle means girl, back and forth is a boy. Mine shows girl, pause, boy, pause a little longer and then girl-immediately goes to boy. I wonder if this means actually births or just pregnancy? Anyone ever experience this? Am I just reaching out on a limb so far it's going to break?
Graciously looking for any advice or experience anyone out there may have had. Trying not to drive myself completely insane before the next appointment!
Amy
I'm trying real hard not to get my hopes up about this. The main thing is focusing on Baby #1 being as healthy as he/she can be.
I'm also secretly hoping that there is a 3rd baby in there that was missed. The reason I am hoping this is completely crazy I'm sure. Have you ever done the "pencil test"? I grew up where you put a threaded needle in the eraser end of a pencil, then hold the pointed end of the pencil over your wrist. It begins to move. A circle means girl, back and forth is a boy. Mine shows girl, pause, boy, pause a little longer and then girl-immediately goes to boy. I wonder if this means actually births or just pregnancy? Anyone ever experience this? Am I just reaching out on a limb so far it's going to break?
Graciously looking for any advice or experience anyone out there may have had. Trying not to drive myself completely insane before the next appointment!
Amy
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