Pregnancy Randomness and Rants of a Hormonal Mom #1

Let's face it, as women in general we are very random human beings and do tend to go on some ranting venues every blue (or just full) moon.  Myself, I bottle things up for the most part and don't say anything until I am at a breaking point, which typically scares the crap out of my family.  I'm not alone in this, I know several of you are chuckling and nodding your heads.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.

With pregnancy, those blasted hormones get in the way of all normal thinking.  What would be a "normal" breaking point becomes close to the definition of what it takes to get admitted to a psych  ward.  This weekend for example, my 8 year old is mad because I won't let her have her way, so she says she is running away to Nana's.  Usually, I would just get ill, have a nice little talking to with her, and be over it.  Actually, I usually end up in a battle of the wits with her which drives me INSANE.  But, she gets it honest.  This time, I go to my husband and say "I'm just not speaking to her the rest of the day.  I can't say or do anything right with her so I'm just not talking to her."  Okay, childish much momma?  If that wasn't bad enough, I start sobbing uncontrollably because she has hurt my feelings.  (I already have a little complex that she loves her Nana more than me--again, I know I'm not the only mom with this feeling!)  So what do I do?  Lock myself in the bathroom.

I absolutely hate more than anything to cry.  Very few movies make me cry and most of the ones that do are for good tears.  Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman?  OMG the church scene near the end will have me flowing like a waterfall.  Love that movie.  But, if you make me mad enough to cry, or my feelings get hurt enough to cry, then Lord help us all.  And the feelings thing, usually has only occurred during pregnancy.  At least since I've become an adult.  If I cry, then I get furious with myself for crying.  And I am probably going to cry on and off the rest of the day because of it.

So then my daughter gets upset that she has upset me.  My husband, mom, and mother in law all agree that it wasn't a bad thing that it upset her.  My loving 8 year old doesn't think about other people's feelings a lot of times so maybe this was an eye opener.  (The Nana thing has been used on more than just me, more than once, and enough times to hurt multiple feelings.)  While I agree that maybe it ended up being a good thing, it made me feel like worst mom of the year.  MOM'S GONE CRAZY! Yep, that's me.

My poor husband would rather me be a start raving lunatic than for me to cry.  He can laugh when I'm going on a tangent, or figure out what to do to calm me down and help.  But crying.  Nope.  I don't think any man knows what to do with a crying woman.  Honestly, neither do I!

Okay so that's my soap box for the day.  I won't even get started on how bad the house looks and how I may have to hire a cleaning crew even though there are 3 other very capable beings in this house to help me out that just don't get it.  That's all for now.

Happy Hump Day people!

Amy

Halfway There! Ultrasound Says....Marginal Placenta Previa

Tomorrow marks the 20 week bump!  We are halfway there and it's hard to believe.  This past Monday we had our gender revealing ultrasound.  Based on heart rate of 145 the past few visits, how low I'm carrying, and the fact that I look like I've swallowed a basketball instead of the Pillsbury Dough Boy, we all thought I was having a boy.  So when the nurse said, GIRL, I had to do a double take and question her!  Another girl!!!  Happy dance!

Don't get me wrong, I'd be just as happy with another hotwheel toting, Thomas the Train loving, Lightning McQueen fanatic.  However, I can't make as many cute clothes for a boy as I can a girl.  I didn't start sewing until my little diva was 2, and by then she was already highly opinionated in what she wore.  And hair bows?  Forget it.  It's all I can do to get her to brush her hair.  She's a tomboy priss pot, just like I was.  What's going to be really exciting is making all 3 of them matching outfits for Christmas.  As long as I can find a Christmas pattern that is gender neutral. :-)

We didn't see a doctor on Monday and were told we have to wait until our next appointment on August 1st to review the ultrasound.  As luck would have it though, I ended up fighting a sore throat that only got worse and I had to go back in yesterday.  That's when the doctor told me I have what is known as "marginal placenta previa".  Apparently the placenta is sitting partially over the cervix right now, but he hopes that as the baby grows, the placenta will move up to where it is supposed to be.  Of course I asked him, what if it doesn't?  If it becomes complete or even partial, we are looking at a C-section.  Not what I wanted to hear.

I had very little complications during my prior two child births.  They were both long: 13 hours and 11 hours.  With my first, the umbilical cord was too close to her neck and with every contraction it caused her heart rate to decrease.  They had to put fluid back in me to get her floating.  Because of this, I only received one small round of pain meds in the very beginning.  I was a total She-Ra.  No epidural. 

My water broke with my son 5 weeks early.  The contractions were slim and I was not dilating quick enough, so they gave me Petocin.  Had I know ahead of time what Petocin did, I would have demanded an epidural first.  Instead, I endured about over half the labor with intense pain.  I tucked my tail between my legs and got the epidural.

I really do not want a C-Section. The recovery is longer, half the time or more there is a big gaping scar, complications that can arise.  I just don't want one.

But, I am putting this, like everything else, in God's hands and asking for His will to be done.  I'm trying to look at the plus sides to a C-Section.  1), because this is not my first child, I stand a higher chance of them tying my tubes while in there. 2), I can hopefully choose my due date.  If so, then I choose the day before Thanksgiving, giving me extra time off work-paid.  Now, if they would do a Britney Spears bikini cut C-Section, that might be okay too.

Time will tell.  I go for a follow up ultrasound in 6 weeks to see if it's moved at all.  I'm not sure if bed rest will be required if it becomes a complete placenta previa.  That's the only thing I've allowed myself to read about.  Most women that have posted on the subject has been complete split reviews.  Some say they were on complete, some on "couch potato" bed rest, and some their doctors thought no activity was actually worse.  The doctor warned me not to read into it too much, it might freak me out more than necessary.  So we'll take this one bridge at a time.

I'll update again after the next ultrasound, and in between if anything else arises.  Hope you all are enjoying your summer!

Amy