Pregnancy Randomness and Rants of a Hormonal Mom #1

Let's face it, as women in general we are very random human beings and do tend to go on some ranting venues every blue (or just full) moon.  Myself, I bottle things up for the most part and don't say anything until I am at a breaking point, which typically scares the crap out of my family.  I'm not alone in this, I know several of you are chuckling and nodding your heads.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.

With pregnancy, those blasted hormones get in the way of all normal thinking.  What would be a "normal" breaking point becomes close to the definition of what it takes to get admitted to a psych  ward.  This weekend for example, my 8 year old is mad because I won't let her have her way, so she says she is running away to Nana's.  Usually, I would just get ill, have a nice little talking to with her, and be over it.  Actually, I usually end up in a battle of the wits with her which drives me INSANE.  But, she gets it honest.  This time, I go to my husband and say "I'm just not speaking to her the rest of the day.  I can't say or do anything right with her so I'm just not talking to her."  Okay, childish much momma?  If that wasn't bad enough, I start sobbing uncontrollably because she has hurt my feelings.  (I already have a little complex that she loves her Nana more than me--again, I know I'm not the only mom with this feeling!)  So what do I do?  Lock myself in the bathroom.

I absolutely hate more than anything to cry.  Very few movies make me cry and most of the ones that do are for good tears.  Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman?  OMG the church scene near the end will have me flowing like a waterfall.  Love that movie.  But, if you make me mad enough to cry, or my feelings get hurt enough to cry, then Lord help us all.  And the feelings thing, usually has only occurred during pregnancy.  At least since I've become an adult.  If I cry, then I get furious with myself for crying.  And I am probably going to cry on and off the rest of the day because of it.

So then my daughter gets upset that she has upset me.  My husband, mom, and mother in law all agree that it wasn't a bad thing that it upset her.  My loving 8 year old doesn't think about other people's feelings a lot of times so maybe this was an eye opener.  (The Nana thing has been used on more than just me, more than once, and enough times to hurt multiple feelings.)  While I agree that maybe it ended up being a good thing, it made me feel like worst mom of the year.  MOM'S GONE CRAZY! Yep, that's me.

My poor husband would rather me be a start raving lunatic than for me to cry.  He can laugh when I'm going on a tangent, or figure out what to do to calm me down and help.  But crying.  Nope.  I don't think any man knows what to do with a crying woman.  Honestly, neither do I!

Okay so that's my soap box for the day.  I won't even get started on how bad the house looks and how I may have to hire a cleaning crew even though there are 3 other very capable beings in this house to help me out that just don't get it.  That's all for now.

Happy Hump Day people!

Amy